When Wrinkles In Scams Collide

This is an explanation for the picture on the right.  Really.

And it all starts, not so long ago, in a land where emails emanate from, that hold all sorts of inert fertilizer (aka, BS).  A claimed 'business partnership offer', that was anything but.

One that I -- as readers are well aware of -- pilloried in my own inimitable way.  A sample of which is h'yar:

From: jenee rachal jeneerachal@gmail.com
Sent: Saturday, July 21, 2012 4:11 AM
Subject: Business Partnership Proposal

Hi,

I am Flora - Online prostitute and scammer Consultant for over 4 years

We are an operation offering Affordable sex on our websites that are related to your customership.

We put links on websites that are of dubious antecedence. Links on websites that have not been affected by credibility and sound customer service for almost 9 years now.

All sites having below Qualities:

•     High level of fraud
•     Less credibility
•     pirated content
•     Strong malware in links
•     cyber crotch crickets to invade your database and eat your files and anything else they find
•     Rich results for our scammers
•     Effective datarapes of your system by our malware
• 
  I would like to know if the offer interests you...if it doesn't, f**k you.
  
  Kindly contact in my mail.. if you are interested and I'd be happy to discuss further details with you.
  
  Email id: floramerlinbe@gmail.com
  
  Thank you for your time.
  
  Best Regards,
  flora merlin.

That is what I sent back to the scammer.  And about 25 of her peers and colleagues.  A few days later, I get this back from jenee rachal/flora merlin/zarinna shani:

From: flora merlin <floramerlinbe@gmail.com>
To:

Sent: Wednesday, August 1, 2012 4:47 AM

From: Zarrina Shani
Email id : zarrina_42@yahoo.com

Hi dear
How are you today, I hope all is well with you .I am sorry to worry you with my Proposal for a relationship with you, but I know that you will grant my request in good  sense and understanding, My name is miss zarrina i saw your profile today in the internet friendship site and became interest in you, i will also lick to know  more about you.i'm hoping to hear from you soon so that I can send you more details about my self Including my picture. I believe we can move from here. Bear in mind that  friendship and Love has no colors barrier, no educational back ground barrier, no social-economic Barrier, religious, language, nationty or distant barrier, the only important Thing there is love.

Yours Sincerely
zarrina
Apparently, we have a language-understanding deficit here, in so far as her reading my email edit of her original scam letter.  Which was, BTW, nothing to do with a relationship...other than the kind of business partnership where I send money and get cyberscrewed for it.

 

But, what the hell...perhaps the scammer thinks a change of tactics will throw me off my game.  I'm up for it:

 

I am most intrigued by your response to my response to your original offer to give me the business.  A personal relationship?  Well...stranger things have happened in cyberspace, with even stranger yet to come.  So yes, my little meadow muffin, do enlighten me on yourself and include a photo of you so that I may know the face of my possible little meadow muffin-in-waiting.

 

A day later, I receive this response:

 

From: Zarrina Shani
Email id : zarrina_42@yahoo.com

Hi dear

How are you today, I hope all well with you .I am glad that you lick my Proposal for relationship with you.  as I tell you, I believe we can move from here. Bear in mind that  friendship and Love has no colors barrier, no educational back ground barrier, no social-economic Barrier, religious, language, nationty or distant barrier, the only important Thing there is love.  I send you picture of me.  i hope you lick it?  is this you call me, "little meadow muffin" term of dear?
Yours Sincerely
zarrina

And yes, she did indeed, send me her picture.  That which you see at the top of the page.  LOL...how to answer that 'un isn't as hard as one might think, what with my growing collection of photos from people, places and parts unknowd from around the universe.

 

So here's what I sent back:

 

Yes, my little meadow muffin, this is a term of deer, though more bovine than deer.  I find your picture to be that of great and well worn experience, coupled with loads of time in the sun.  Sun Sweet is known to make profitable use of this, but I digress.

 

Moose Smith is the name, and non sequitur is the game.  And game that is non sequitur prefers it so, so that it doesn't get shot and et.  Again, I digress.

 

I think that when you see my picture, you will know that, as heaven and earth do strange things, so too perhaps shall we.  I think you'll find, as I have, that we are made for each other.  Out of spare parts from Mopar.

 

See what I mean? 

 

Looking forward to your next missive, my little meadow muffin.

Moose Smith

Someone apparently bothered to read that on her end, with a better eye for 'tongue-in-cheek' than jenee/flora/zarinna had heretofore.  For I did get a reply, but not in the tone of previous:

 

u r not good mans  f**k you

 

Okay, so maybe it was the picture.  Anyway, the response was good enough for one last effort to 'save' the relationship:

 

With all due respect, Ma'am, looking at you and looking at me, I reckon if we're gonna do THAT with each other, it'll take a 55 gallon drum of lubricant.  Otherwise, one or both of us will ignite, assuming we have that kind of energy left us.

 

Amazingly, I did get a reply...a response with no text.

 

I left her speechless.

 

Or I made her so 'hot', she ignited as she hit 'send'.

 

Guess the lubricant was too late...