2020 Hasn't Helped The Scammers Either

2020 hasn't been good in very many venues.

Even for the online scammers.

Their revenues are down.  The responses from potential victims falling.  Mask and social distancing mandates.  

Even Bidumb is losing in the polls there.

So I decided to help them out.

I had been ignoring their pithy efforts to give me the business, but when this one came along, I just sorta hadda kinda give it at least a wee bit of attention:

Dear beloved friend, 

I know that this letter may be a very big surprise to you, I am giving

you my trust and wish you will give me back the trust i have given

you. I believe that you will be honest to fulfill my final wish before

I die. 

I am Mrs. Jane Heather from New Zealand, I am 53 years old, I am

suffering from a long time cancer of the throat. From all indication

my condition is really deteriorating as I can not be able to talk or

speak, and my doctors have courageously advised me that I may not live

beyond the next Six months, this is because of the cancer stage has

reached a critical stage. I was brought up in a motherless baby's home

and was married to my late Husband for twenty years without a child. 

My Husband and I are true Christians, but quite unfortunately, he died

in a Motor accident, so i could not hear the cry of child in my house

Since his death I decided not to re-marry, I sold all my belongings

and deposited all the sum of $10.2 million dollars with a bank in Cote

D'Ivoire where we worked in the oil company and lived for more than 18

years. 

Presently, this money is still in their custody and the management

just wrote me as the Legitimate beneficiary to come forward to receive

the Deposit after keeping it for so long or rather issue a letter of

authorization to somebody to receive it on my behalf since I can not

come over as a result of my illness, Presently,I'm with my hospital

laptop where I have been under-going treatment. I have since lost my

ability to walk about or do anything by myself and my doctors have

told me that I have only few months to live. 

It is my last wish to see that this money is invested in any business

of your choice and the gain made every year or 6 months as the case

may be, distributed each year among the charity organization, the poor

and the motherless baby's home where I come from. 

I want your good humanitarian, to also use this money to fund

churches, orphanages and widows around and 20% for you , I must let

you know that this was a very hard decision, but I had to take a bold

step towards this issue because I have no further option. 

In your reply, i will like you to send to me your contact information

such as your full name, your address, your telephone and fax number.

As soon as I receive your reply I shall give you the contact of the

bank. I will also issue a letter of authorization to the bank, which

will prove that you are the new beneficiary of my funds. Please assure

me that you will act accordingly as I have stated herein. 

Hope to hear from you soonest

Awaiting your reply

Yours Sincerely

Mrs. Jane Heather.   

It really didn't seem a tad different from any pre-COVID scam emails.  But I did say I was going to help out here.  You be the judge iffen I did or not:

From: Jane Heather
Sent: Tuesday, September 29, 2020 4:53 AM
Subject: Metal Rivets Are Not Used In Mending Godzilla Owies

 

B’day,

 

I know that this letter may be a very big surprise to you, I am giving

you my trust and wish you will give me back the trust i have given

you. I believe that you will be honest to fulfill my final wish before

I die.

 

At this moment, my guardian angel is face down on the pavement,

drowning in his or her own vomit.  I can understand why.

 

I used an email from someone else to tell you that I am Mrs. Jane

Heather from New Zealand, I am 53 years old, I am suffering from

a long time mental cancer of the creative processes. From all indication

my condition is really deteriorating as I can not be able to carry this

particular scam beyond this template without excess handler input,

and my doctors have courageously advised me that I may not have

any more extensions on the current semester term paper I am

overdue on turning in.  It’s about scamming in the year 2020, and

how hard it is to compete with COVID, black lies murder, Antifa,

murder hornets and anything on cnn. 

 

I was brought up in a motherless baby's home where I was traumatized

Early on by Joe Bidumb sniffing my hair and pinching my under-evolved

Breasts during one of his crimepaign stops. 

 

I are a Christian in the democrap sense of the word, but quite unfortunately,

I was caught on a YouTube video expressing skepticism of global transgender

Warming in a toaster oven during a episode of a very boring The View segment.

Weird, since The View is patently rubbish, but cnn told me that I could glean

Gender awareness from five bitter broads who center their entire life on hating

One president.  On top of that, Kathy Griffin exposed herself to me from her

Living room not all that long ago and I am still not sure that what I saw was

Not an SNL skit gone flat.

 

Late at night, the big old house gets lonely…I guess every point of refuge has it’s

Price.  And it breaks my heart, to think of being groped by only…a man with hands

As cold as Bidumb.

 

In other template news, in a Motor accident, i could not hear the cry of the monkey

That got spanked on an episode of Oprah.  Since the death of Night Court I decided

not to re-marry, since with 58 gender choices out there, I’m still figuring out which one

might be fun to try out for a spell.  An octosexual orthopod, perhaps.

 

Long as that doesn’t mean that I am limited to sex with bagpipes and accordions.

 

I sold all the emails I had hacked from Hellary’s Chinese email server and deposited

Them with Jeffrey Epstein.

 

That left a mark.

 

Did I mention a bank in Cote D'Ivoire where a new four slice toaster is yours when opening

A new account.  I got that from a British scam baiter who uses gummy bears as a code word.

 

Presently, I'm with my hospital laptop that just gave me a proctological exam.  Ewwww.

I don’t think that feces is much help to the keyboard.

 

It is my last wish to see that Amy Coney Barrett is confirmed to the SCOTUS so that maligNANCY’s

sagging vagina implodes.  Not sure why that sounds so appealing to me, but it do.  I rather like how

all womanhood the universe over will be set back 5,000 years by ACB being a Supreme Court justice.

I was sorry to see that Blasé-Fraud didn’t testify to the allegation that ACB knocked Blasé-Fraud down

At a junior high prom 36 or more years ago, and scissor her face with a genital-less Ken doll.  I was

Looking forward to seeing alyssa Morono glaring at ACB reproachfully from the back of the peanut

Gallery during that skit.

 

Do they sell inflatable talking Mazie Hirono dolls at Spencer’s?  I’ll bet they’re a hit on the moron

Circuit that AOC frequents. 

 

I want your good humanitarian; I hear he tastes like chicken.  I must let you know that this was a

very hard decision, but I had to take a bold step towards this issue because I am assured that Orange

Man Bad will win re-election without we try something stupid to stop that.

 

In your reply, i will like you to send to me your contact information such as your full name, your address, your telephone and fax number, what you’re wearing at this minute and if you’ve ever gotten head from Camel-a Harris.

 

As soon as I receive your reply I shall give you the contact of the bank. I will also issue a letter of authorization to the bank, which will prove that you are the new spokesperson for Wankbanger’s Flatulence Relief. Please assure me that you will act indecently with any accordions herein.

 

Hope to hear from you soonest

Awaiting your reply

Yours Sincerely

Mrs. Jane Heather.   

The reply wasn't apparently what Jane Heather was looking for; I didn't get any follow up.

Mebbe that was the point?