Mueller Ain't The Only One Who Can't Investigate

From the look on his face, his hand is up because his bowels are about to implode.

And that's been Bobbie Mueller's standard look since trying to help Hellary with the faked Trump dossier.

But he ain't the only one suffering from faux investigation dysfunction.

Get a load of this numbnuts:

United States Investigations Services (USIS)
7799 Leesburg PikeSuite 1100 North
Falls Church, VA 22043 Compliment of The Day,


                                  READ CAREFULLY


I am Mitch Lawrence the Vice President, Security and
Counterintelligence (CI) for United States Investigations
Services (USIS) in alliance with Economic Community of West
African states (ECOWAS) with the head Office in Nigeria. We the
United States government and the United Nation, we have been
working towards the eradication of Internet Scam around the
globe, western part of Africa to be precise.

However, it has been revealed that there's no fund in your name
anywhere in the world, if you have been receiving e-mails from
Banks, Compensation Office, Lottery, Inheritance funds e.t.c.,
you're therefore advise to ignore such e-mails they are
impostor/fraudster trying to rip you off your hard earn money and
if you're in communication with any person or office claiming
that your funds is with them, we also advise you to stop/seize
further communication and transaction with such person/office
immediately, they are all liars and thieves. Also you're order to
forward such emails to this office to help aid the arrest of this
fraudsters and impostors.

We have been able to track down so many of this scam artist in
various part of west Africa countries which includes (NIGERIA,
REPUBLIC OF BENIN, TOGO, GHANA CAMERON AND SENEGAL), they are all
in the custody of the United States Secret Agent (USSA) Nigeria,
also huge amount of money was recovered from the scam artists. In
reference to this, several indoor meeting was held between the
United Nation, United States government and the African Union in
Abuja the federal capital of Nigeria, agreement was reached that
scam victims will be compensated with the money recovered from
scam artist that are in custody of the Nigeria Economic and
Financial Crimes Commission (EFCC) and the United States Secret
Agent (USSA) in Nigeria.

Note this e-mail is been directed to you because during our
investigations, your email address was found in one of the scam
Artists file and computer hard disk in  our custody. In reference
to this regards, you will be compensated with the sum of US$17,
.500,000.00 (Seventeen Million five Hundred Thousand Dollars).
Meanwhile, the Africa Union has requested for evidence to prove
you are a victim of West Africa scam. In plight to this regards
the USIS have appointed a United State base Attorney (Ben Gibson)
here in the State to advocate on your behalf and provide the
requested evidence to process the payment approval for your fund
to be release  to you.


IMPORTANT NOTICE: The only fee you're to pay to the Attorney is
the processing fee $325.00 for procurment of legal evidence to
prove to the West Africa Union that you are a victim of scam.
Also kindly request him to direct you on how to submit the
processing fee $325.


Kindly verify your details to Ben Gibson to enable him process
and secure evidence to aid the release of your payment to you,
also make sure your details and residential address are provided
correctly to avoid any atom of mistake and delay during
processing.


Your Full Name: ................... Full Residential
Address:.......... (P.O.BOX NOT ALLOWED) Direct Phone Number:
.............. Valid ID Card: ....................


CONTACT PERSON: BEN GIBSON

E-MAIL ADDRESS: beng31275@gmail.com

TEL: +1 (707)639-1379

As soon as he received your details, the processing to aid the
release of your Compensation Refund will be facilitated
immediately and your US$17, .500,000.00 (Seventeen Million five
Hundred Thousand Dollars) will be made payable to you in due time
within the next 72 hours.

Treat as urgent!

Regards.

Mitch Lawrence

Vice President, Security and Counterintelligence
United States Investigations Services (USIS)  

Since I can't have any fun with the made-up Trump dossier, I most certainly can have some fun with this:

From: Mitch Lawrence <info@un.org>
Sent: Wednesday, January 17, 2018 6:53 AM
To: dorknwhackoff@hotmail.com
Subject: READ CAREFULLY IF YOU WISH TO AVOID SEXUALLY TRANSMITTED DISEASE FROM A MARMOT.

 

United Nation Investigation Soivices (UNIS)
7799 Leesburg Pickerel
Suite 1100

North Falls Church of the Perpetual Horkage, VA 22043

Condiment of The Day: dildo relish


                                 READ CAREFULLY IF YOU WISH TO AVOID SEXUALLY TRANSMITTED DISEASE FROM A MARMOT

I am Mitch Lawrence the Vice President, Security and
Counterintelligence (CI) for United Nation Investigation
Soivices (UNIS) in alliance with A Community of West
African states (ACOWSASS) with the head up their ass in Nigeria.

We the United Nation government and the United Nation of the

ungoverned, we have been working towards the perpetuation

of Internet Scam around the globe, western part of Africa to be precise.

We want it everyf**kingwhere.

However, it has been revealed that there's no record in your name
anywhere in the world that says you've been sodomized online

by our eagerly standing by operators of dubious antecedence.

Why the f**k not?

if you have been receiving e-mails from Banks, Compensation

Office, Lottery, Inheritance funds e.t.c., you're therefore advise

to respond affirmatively and positively to such e-mails they are
send by hard working and righteous scammers from Third

World sh*tholes who are trying to rip you off your hard earn

money and they are entitled to do this because Barack Insane

Obola said you didn't earn that money and he wants it

redistributed.

Why you not listen to him?  You racist????

if you're in communication with any person or office claiming
that we are full of sh*t, we also advise you to stop/seize
further communication and transaction with such person/office
immediately, they are right but that's not the point; they're

fucking with our rice bowl, and you just stop listen to them

and do the right thing and pay us because you owe us.

We have been able to track down so many of this scam artist in
various part of west Africa countries which includes (NIGERIA,
REPUBLIC OF BENIN, TOGO, GHANA CAMERON AND SENEGAL),

and we have offer all of them jobs in our luxury and deluxely

accommodated fly-infested internet café in the Third World

Shithole capital of forever, Lagos Nigeria.

So far, we collect huge amount of money recovered from mugus

like you.

Just not yet from you.

Note this e-mail is been directed to you because during our
investigation, your email address was found in one of the not-

yet-scammed files in  our custody. In reference to this regards,

we reckon you owe us the sum of US$17,500,000.00 (Seventeen

Million five Hundred Thousand Dollars).

No sh*t.  Really.  Really really.

Meanwhile, the Africa Union has requested that we prove
you are not yet a victim of West Africa scam. In plight to this regards
the UNIS have appointed a United Nation base goat sodomizer (Ben Gibson)
here in Nigeria to advocate on your behalf and provide the
requested evidence to prove you owe us big time.


IMPORTANT NOTICE: We have affordable terms for you to pay

off what you owe us and it's only $325.00 a month for the life

of Ben Gibson's sodomized goats.

we think that's fair.

Kindly verify your details to Ben Gibson to enable him process
and secure evidence to prove you owe us you f**king scofflaw

and make sure your details and residential address are provided
correctly to avoid you avoiding any atom of mistake and delay during
processing.

Your Full Name: ................... Full Residential
Address:.......... (P.O.BOX NOT ALLOWED) Direct Phone Number:
.............. Valid ID Card: ....................

CONTACT PERSON: BEN GIBSON

E-MAIL ADDRESS: beng31275@gmail.com

TEL: +1 (707)639-1379

As soon as he received your details, ol' Ben will probably

foul himself repeatedly, as this sh*t hasn't worked very

well to date.

Treat as urgent!

Regards.

Mitch Lawrence

Vice President, Security and Counterintelligence
United Nation Investigation Soivices (UNIS)

"Nyuk nyuk nyuk...*BONK*..OW!"

The edit didn't seem to give him much hope of any positive responses...