Chinese Astrology and 2009: Part III

Leaving behind the obfuscation of Part II, I now

delve into the five elements within the Chinese horoscope, which serve as moderating influences on the specific signs. Those elements are: earth, wind, fire, flatulence and run-like-hell.

I'm kidding, I think. Actually, they are wood, fire, earth, metal and water.

According to ancient beliefs, the elements follow each sign in twelve year cycles, as they might in real life. That is to say that first comes the wood, which is consumed by fire and converted to the earth, from which metal is derived, which later melts into water, drawing a suit from the EPA and questions as to metallurgic antecedence. Or something along those peculiar lines, when lawyers and enviros get involved, digressing further than I'd intended.

At any rate, each element holds specific significance for each astrological sign. What it is, danged if I know, but that's what the dubious source for my research said. So and for example, if you were born in 1960, you'd have characteristics of the Metal Rat, and you'd be wise to avoid magnetic mouse traps. If you were born in 1969, you'd display characteristics of the Metal Rooster: whatever else that means, you'd make a splendid weather vane.

At present, we are in the cycle wherein the element of earth is predominant. Thus, the earlier reference in Part I to it being the Year of the Earth Ox. The Chinese New Year for 2009 will begin on January 26; until then, your respective sign falls under the influence of the Earth Rat.

With that, I now proceed to half of what you've been waiting for: a bit of a general personality profile for each sign. And in the finale, Part IV, I'll conclude with the astrological forecast for your sign in 2009:

OX: others tend to look at you as a leader; you sometimes find yourself wondering why. Perhaps it's the methodical, plodding nature you tend to project, or the fact that you're good with your hooves..er..hands. While you can tend to be bright and an inspiration to others, you must guard against sometimes becoming bullheaded. Not easy, I know. You're prone to periods of stubborness, but this lets others know you're not easily buffaloed into compromise. Your most compatibull mates would be either a Snake or a Rooster; life with a Goat, by comparison, is just continual locking of horns over one thing or another.

TIGER: you have a sensitive and emotional side, which you may manifest in ways others consider heroic and appealing, unless you're clawing the curtains and furniture. You are at once admired for your candor and feared for your aggressiveness. You need to be wary of impetuosity, so that you don't become the rug that gets pulled out from under you. Compatible mates can be found with the Horse or the Dog; the Monkey might make a good primate, but not YOUR mate...*rimshot*

RABBIT: yours is a popular personality. Promiscuous, affectionate, your circle of friends tends to multiply, like your family. Yet, with a tendency toward the bashful, you seek peace through your life, when you're lucky enough to avoid real and animated predators that your business and personal life seem to attract. Despite these occasions, yours is a life that requires you to hop to it to meet all your family, business and social obligations. Compatibility in life's hutch is best with a Goat or a Pig; avoid misery in your personal life, especially that hen-pecked feeling, by not marrying a Rooster.

DRAGON: all that you are and dream are on a grand scale. Despite a reputation as occasionally foolhardy and hot-headed, you attract those who admire your spark of passion. Then again, you do have tendencies toward the eccentric, having a different view of styles and trends (for example, not being much of a knight person). Your best compatibility with a life mate is -- since there's no Donkey here -- a Monkey or a Rat; a poor choice would be a Dog, as two bad breaths are worse than one.

SNAKE: you are blessed with much wisdom, and when you choose, you can turn on the charm. You're a romantic, but must be careful not to glide into places and situations before gaining acceptance. Somewhat vain at times, you're thin-skinned about your appearance and quick to strike out when put upon, stepped upon, etc. Strong on intuition, you like to go on your gut instincts, though you become easily rattled if it fails you. Compatibility is best with an Ox or Rooster; the Pig, on the other hand, will get under your skin and root out the worst in you.

HORSE: you have the capacity for hard work others find admirable. There's no end to what you can accomplish when spurred to action. You also have appeal with the opposite sex; on the other hoof, you demonstrate sides of selfishness, impatience, and find it difficult to ride out demanding situations. You claim to be independent, but deep inside you like to be saddled with relationships. From a mate standpoint, you're better off hitched with the Tiger or Dog; the Rat will leave you skittish, and you'll bridle at the thought of even carousing with one.

GOAT: frequently misunderstood at the outset, your preference for working behind the scenes and initial social timidity can give way to your charming and elegant side, warming others to you, when they find you aren't as buttinsky as they thought. Given to being materialistic and at times, pessimistic, you don't find it easy to be the "life of the party", but your ability to eat almost anything makes you popular when it's time to dispose of leftovers. In compatibility, you would mate nicely with a Pig or Rabbit; avoid the Ox to prevent head-to-head arguments.

MONKEY: a very intelligent and witty soul. Even when uncomfortable in unfamiliar surroundings, the Monkey's charm and wit make it easy for him/her to swing doubters to his/her side. Though, the discomfort a Monkey sometimes feels can sometimes lead them to act like they have a chimp...chip on their shoulder. Monkeys must also guard against excess opportunism, and acting like a baboon at the expense of others. A Monkey's best mates are the Dragon or Rat; Monkeys would do well to avoid Tigers, or other Monkees wanting to do a reunion tour.

ROOSTER: hard-working, shrewd, and opinionated. Seen by others as eccentric and cocky, the Rooster doesn't hesitate to crow about their personal achievements. While Roosters do have an altruistic and compassionate side to them, they don't like to display it, afraid they'll be seen as over easy. For the Rooster, the Snake makes a fine partner, and the Ox is fine as partner or perch; due to years of bad blood over the Easter Egg controversy, a partership with the Rabbit is totally out of the question.

DOG: loyalty is the Dog's seminal foundation. Those who count you as friend know they won't be let down, provided you're house-broken. Dogs do have a tendency to worry a great deal, and aren't always mindful of their sharp tongue and worse breath. Still, a Dog can be most fetching in social and family environments, even as inside them, there's always a tug-of-war over a Dog's decision making and how it might affect others, at the expense of the Dog. Good partners are found with the Tiger and Horse; on the other paw, a Dog will get burned with the Dragon.

PIG: you harbor a noble and chivalrous air about you. Your friendships are frequently life-long, though in marriage you seem to wallow a bit befuddled. You're tolerant and honest, but can be easily duped by those who aren't. You aren't one to hog the spotlight, though you are known to ham it up a bit now and then. Your root to happiness with a mate is found with a Rabbit or Goat; whatever you do, don't marry another Pig, or get yourself entwined with a Snake bearing apples, especially around BBQs.

RAT: you tend to be exquisitely imaginative. You also have charm, when not being used by a vampire for escape purposes. To the one you love, your generosity knows no bounds; on the other hand, you are known to have a quick temper, critical nature, and you can be an opportunistic little pri...jerk. Still, you enjoy running with the crowd, and wouldn't have it any other way. Your most compatible mate in life would be either Dragons or Monkeys; with a Horse, you're liable to get your feelings hurt or stepped on.