Saturday, July 18, 2009

Words Are Mean Things


*A short one from the '06 archives, and proof, though none is needed, that most scammers don't have a sense of humor when it comes to their verbal faux pas*
Especially when one doesn't know how they're using them. A particularly perilous practice when emailing yours truly.

My latest email scam letter was a not merely a *TOING*er.

Read closely the following brief and very off-the-point scam with lowlighted passage:

FROM MARK & SISTER
ABIDJAN COTE D IVIORE

My Dear.

CONFIDENTIAL
I am makr Kurubos from Ivory Coast. I lost my Father Mr. Kurubos kono a couple of months ago. My Father was a serving director of the Cocoa exporting abroad until his death . He was assassinated last january 09/01/2004 by the rebels following the political uprising. In result my sister and I find what comfort we can inside each other (scammer's words, my italicizing them).

Before his death my Father had a box deposited in a Security Company here in Cote d' Ivoire up to the tune of ($9.5M) is in the box, which was for the importation of cocoa processing machine. I want you to do me a favour to receive this box to a safe place in your country or any safer place as the beneficiary .MOREOVER I AM WILLING TO OFFER YOU 10% OF THE TOTAL SUM AS COMPENSATION WHEN THE BOX IS SUCCESSFUL DELIVERED TO YOUR COUNTRY. I have plans to do investment in your country, like real estate and industrial productions.This is my reason for writing to you.Please if you are willing to assist me indicate your interest in replying me soonest (!!!),

Thanks,
best regards

Mark & Sister

"In result my sister and I find what comfort we can inside each other"...*MONDO TOING*

My reply was all that you'd expect of my mean-spirited, conservative self:

Mark and Sister??? I have carefully read everything you said and the content is well understood, even if it gives me the heebie-jeebies. You "find what comfort we can inside each other"??? HELLO!?

That might fly in places like Arkansas, Berchtesgaden or in movies starring Billy Bob Bittydink, but here in Liechtenstein, you'd be spray-painted blaze pink, mounted backward on an emu, and marched forthwith into France, you sick, incestuous DOPPELBREEDER!

YOU SLEPT WITH YOUR SISTER? YOUR SISTER SLEPT WITH YOU? There ain't no friggin way I'LL DO BUSINESS WITH INBREEDERS!!!!!

But thanks ever so, for writing, and feel free to write again.

I think I embarrassed Mark & Sister; no reply, denial or explanation. I think they need a better "spin"witch doctor.

11 Comments:

Blogger Monica said...

You are SO BAD. That's all I'm saying. Funny and cute but oh so bad.

01 November, 2006 09:16  
Anonymous cyndy said...

That my friend is priceless!

01 November, 2006 19:14  
Blogger header5 said...

I can't believe you had no response. Shocking!

01 November, 2006 22:16  
Blogger Wendy said...

BWAHAHAHAHA! That's a good one. :)

18 July, 2009 15:34  
Blogger Debbie said...

Cocoa, hey that's addicting. I know many women hooked on chocolate, works on our brains, makes us mellow and susceptible to motivation... heheheh

Skunk, I just has my very first ever Margarita, I think they have rum in them and some other good stuff. I feel really good -- better than cocoa or chocolate. Not sure I could handle two of them, I'm not a drinker....

They just look so good I wanted to see what one tasted like.... they are GOOOOOOD

Might have to find some sugarfree Margarita mix and invest in some Tequila or whatever is in them.

Nighty Night...

Deborah F. Hamilton
Right Truth
http://www.righttruth.typepad.com

18 July, 2009 21:02  
Blogger Pixster said...

Haha! Thats the kind of thing I usually hear in schools full of teenagers! Pfft. Some things never really get old. :)

18 July, 2009 23:12  
Blogger Skunkfeathers said...

Pixster: when it comes to baiting a scammer, everything's on the table. Like the time I used the Henway maneuver LOL...

19 July, 2009 03:40  
Blogger Little Lamb said...

You may have done it this time.

19 July, 2009 06:31  
Blogger Sandee said...

Bwhahahahahaha. This has to be the best one yet. Bwahahahahahaha. I loved your response.

Have a terrific day. :)

19 July, 2009 17:26  
Blogger Suburban Turmoil said...

Classic! This is awesome. :)

19 July, 2009 18:48  
Blogger Josh said...

That's priceless! You have an excellent blog. I was led here by the Pixster and I've enjoyed it very much. Thanks!

19 July, 2009 21:00  

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