Meme Versus The Outhouse

I tend not to partake in what passes in blogdom as 'memes', but they certainly do make up a fair portion of what many bloggers indulge in. A blogger starts a 'meme', hoping to get other bloggers who visit their site to partake and spread it throughout blogdom. An example: several bloggers I regularly read do a "Thirteen Thursday".

The point I gather of a 'meme' is for a blogger to tell others about him/herself, and reveal little factoids about them, their lives, and how they think and feel about things. And to encourage other bloggers to follow suit.

I kinda thought that's why they were blogging in the first place, without the prompt of a 'meme', but I digress.

Writers -- admit it or not -- like the world to know things about them. They like to be read. They like to hear feedback. They like to know that something they've written has "legs" and gets publicity. Many -- not all -- crave the limelight, and to have the kind of writing career enjoyed by folks like Dave Barry, J. K. Rowling, Erica Jong, P.J. O'Rourke, John Grisham, Julia Moore, Dr. Ruth, Zugspitz & Phlegm and other (sort of) widely-read authors.

Whether any of the aforementioned participated in a blogging 'meme' to get where they were going I can't say, but I digress again.

I pride myself on being unfettered by literary ambition, and not having the sense God gave a door knob to know it's limitations. For these non sequitur reasons, I shall break with my heretofore 'meme'less tradition, and step up with a new 'meme' of dubious antecedence and little practical value, but great for killing time probably better spent doing something else, like finding and refilling the blinker fluid reservoir on the car.

As with any 'meme' online, anyone is invited to participate. Keep a couple of these questions in mind in case a Nomad like alien probe visits you seeking perfection, and responding to your answers with a terse "non sequitur; your facts are uncoordinated". The first question may just buy you the time you need for escape and evasion. Let it also be disclaimed hyar by yours truly that I made up only one* of these meme questions. That probably doesn't help much, but I digress thrice:

1. If a sheep is a ram and a donkey is an ass, why is a ram in the ass a goose?
2.* Why does noel have an "L" in it?
3. If left out overnight, does sour cream go "good"?
4. If necessity is the mother of invention, does that make a loaf of bread the mother of a 767?
5. If you experience flatulence that comes out "honda honda honda", and it is discovered that you have a tooth with an abscess, does that mean that the abscess makes the fart go honda?
6. If bees are driving you buggy, will locking u buggy and hiding the keys help?
7. Can you save the whales by keeping them out of the forest during logging operations?
8. If a plane crashes on the border between two countries, in which country are the survivors buried?
9. If you have a shoe box and a 6' 7" politician corpse to bury, can you get 'em to fit by giving them an enema?
10. How do you get down from an elephant?
11. Some months have 31 days; some have 30. How many have 28?
12. How many innings in a football game?
13. If you cross an atheist with a Jehovah's Witness, do you have someone who knocks on your door for no reason?
14. Can a constipated mathematician work it out with a pencil?
15. Did the clumsy optometrist, upon accidently falling into a lens grinding machine, make a spectacle of himself?