Friday, August 19, 2005

JuDUMnji


It's funny how some allegedly educated folks not only take themselves seriously; upon announcing their 'plan' to the world, they expect us to take them seriously, too.

There was apparently a meeting of the ecominds at a 'retreat' on a large ranch in New Mexico, owned by none other than Ted Turner of CNN/TBS/ex to Hanoi Jane fame. At this 'retreat', a group of ecologists offered up a plan that they insist be enacted, for the good of the planet.

A plan they say will not only save endangered animals of the African Serengeti; it will save and retrieve the ecodiversity of the North American Great Plains.

With a plan taking decades to evolve, they want to introduce to the Great Plains African lions, cheetah, elephants, and other select species, to retrieve an ecosystem lost to the progress of Man.

Dang us humans, anyway.

Initially -- they say -- the plan should be enacted using zoo animals, on 'preserves' across the Great Plains, with hundreds, if not thousands of miles of perimeter fencing. Then -- they say -- introduction of more wild species to the Plains should be carried out.

The future of these animals, as well as the ecosystem of the Plains -- they say -- is at stake. Lions and cheetah will thin out and better manage herds of deer, elk and antelope; elephant will eat certain kinds of woody brush that now infests the plains, in place of former natural botany. Nature's balance will be largely restored; the deprivations of Man turned back.

They say.

Critics -- believe it or not, there are some, even amongst this udopian sect -- suggest that lions will take better to thinning out and managing sheep and cattle herds, not to mention those waskily humans that so ruined the Great Plains in the first place. Cheetahs will be running down Yugos on I-70. Elephants, perhaps crazed during a storm, or by some fruitcake enviro who thinks all elephants are like Dumbo, will go ravaging through a trailer park or condo community like an F-3 tornado.

But that's not what concerns me.

What concerns me is, these "it's yesterday once more" idiots don't imagine stopping at turning Nebraska into an oversized Roman Coliseum, where the lions again eat the Christians to the cheers of the ACLU: this is only the first step in their play book.

Think the Jurassic Park trilogy. Bioengineering. Cloning. Being able to read, find, retrieve, and replicate DNA. We already stand on the precipice of this ability. Within a generation, we will see it refined.

Animal rights/environs/ecologist activists can hardly wait.

Just as the world was once bestrode by a Collossus of reptilian, avarian and mammalian origins, so too -- they say -- should the Great Plains once again return to a state of grace. One last known over 65 million years ago.

Except, we weren't around to experience that state of grace. If it is partaking of a 'state of grace' by being chased all over Kansas by carnivores the size of three-story buildings, I for one am most happy with our current levels of natural degredation, not to mention I am upheld in my subconscious dislike of driving across Kansas. The bottom line here is that I'm not much interested in living in my own past, let alone one that preceded me by numerous millennia, and offers humans up as morsels for really big lizards/birds/triciploplotzes or whatever it was Bill Macy called them.

Though, the thought of a T-rex eating lawyers, or a pack of screaming Earth Firsters and PETAns, isn't without a satisfying appeal. That's something I'd pay to watch.

Granted, I don't expect to live to see this accomplishment of so-called 'progressive' ecologists; but for those of you perhaps young enough to do so, remember well the picture in the top right of this commentary.

Should they ultimately have their way, that picture may be the last thing you see in your rear view mirror. Bon appetit.

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