Miracle Whipped

Say howdy do to Ms Miracle Wilton, a scamstress claiming to be originally from Liberia, now languishing in a 'refugee camp' in Dakar, Senegal.

At least, that's what she claims.

She started out simply enough:

Hello, please can you reply me

Okay, fine:

me  

And that's all she needed to get right to her rat-killing game plan:

Dearest love one,

Thanks For Your mail, I will really like to have a good relationship with you, and i have a special reason why i decided to contact you.
I decided to contact you because of the urgency of my situation here and after reading your profile ,I am Miss Miracle Wilton, 27 years old girl from Liberia, the only daughter of Late Dr Wilton Sankawulo, the Minister of National Security and former commanding General of the Armed Forces of Liberia under the leadership of president Charles Taylor who is now in exile after many innocent soul were killed ,My father was killed by government of Charles Taylor ,he accuse my father of coup attempt.

I am constrained to contact you because of the maltreatment I am receiving from my step mother,She planned to take away all my late father's treasury and properties from me since the unexpected death of my beloved Father, Meanwhile I wanted to escape to the Europe but she hide away my international passport and other valuable traveling documents,Luckily she did not discover where I kept my father %uFFFDs File which contains important documents.

So I decided to run out of the country to the refugee camp where I am presently seeking asylum under the United Nations High Commission for the Refugee here in Dakar, Republic of Senegal,I wish to contact you personally for a long term business relationship and investment assistance in your country.
My father of blessed memory deposited the sum of US$6,800,000.00 in Bank with my name as the next of kin,However, I shall forward you with the necessary documents on confirmation of your acceptance to assist me for the transfer and investment of the fund.

As you will help me in an investment, and i will like to complete my studies, as i was in my second year in the university, when the crisis started .
It is my intention to compensate you with 20% of the total money for your services and the balance shall be my investment capital,This is the reason why I decided to contact you.
Please all communications should be through this email address only for confidential purposes.
As soon as I receive your positive response showing your interest I will put things into action immediately,In the light of the above.

I shall appreciate an urgent message indicating your ability and willingness to handle this transaction sincerely, you can call me on phone if you want to speak with me on phone,i have no phone here, but you can call me with this number  +221 - 7070-342-79 .

It is the Reverend Pastor Matins number here in the camp, call and tell him you want to speak with me Miracle,he will call me because i am staying at the female hostel.

Awaiting your urgent and positive response, please do keep this only to yourself,please i beg you not to disclose it till i come over , once the fund has been transferred.
Yours Sincerely,
Miracle   

Since she doesn't seem to read so good, I thought I'd throw together an edit to see how she'd handle that:

From: miracle whip wilton <miraclewilton070@gmail.com>
Sent: Monday, February 15, 2021 12:38 PM
To: Jackson's TallyWhacker <jackson'sT101@hotmail.com>
Subject: Waiting for more details about human casserole

 

Dearest future culinary love intwist,

Thanks For Your mail, I will really like to have a good culinary relationship with you as my preferred hors d'oeuvre, and that is pretty munch why i decided to contact you.

I'll wait to see if you see what I just did there.

I decided to contact you because of after reading your profile. ,I am Miss Miracle Whip Wilton, 27 years old girl from Liechtenstein, the only daughter of Late Dr Wilton Sankawanker, the Minister of National Security and former commanding General of the Armed Farces of Liechtenstein under the leadership of a real hundsfott Chuck E. Cheese Taylor, who is now in exile after many innocent filet of sole were made into dead through a voodoo doll that look like maligNANCY Pelosi,  

My father was killed by government of Chuck E. Cheese Taylor ,he accuse my father of attempting to hatch a chicken coup attempt and egging on the population.

I am constrained to contact you because of the maltreatment I am receiving from my evil stepmother and her step daughters all a part of a twelve step plan to make me pick the wrong week to giving up sniffing glue and hallucinogens.  She planned to take away all my kodachromes of Chucky Schumer leaving a Motel 6 at 3am with an inflatable yak sex toy with the face of Maxine Waters.  

Meanwhile I wanted to escape to Newark until I find out what the place is like.  Luckily she did not discover where I kept my father's petrified genitals which contains important clues to how that process worked.  I plan to make a Youtube video on how to sell the process soonest.

In the meantime I am in the refugee camp that I was told was in Dakar, Senegal; it's actually in Sheboygan under the United Nations High Commission for the You Don't Have To Live Like A Refugee pogrom.  I wish to contact you personally for any kind of sexual relationship that doesn't involve fallatio with voodoo dolls in your country.

My father of dubious antecedence and petrified genitals reportedly deposited the sum of US$6,800,000.00 in Bank after winning a sports book bet that Jeffrey Epstein didn't kill himself. 

 However, I shall forward you with the necessary documents on confirmation of your acceptance to assist me for the transfer and investment of the fund.

As you will believe that you are helping me while I help myself to what's in your wallet -- I hope there are no marauding Vikings there -- i will like to complete my studies, as i was in my second year in a eunuchversity when this email thread started.  I'm working toward my pHd in pole dancing.

It is my intention to compensate you with 20% of my collection of shrunken heads from the Antifa Reduced Intellect Academy for your services and the balance shall be auctioned off on eBay.  This is the reason why I decided to contact you.

Please all communications should be through this email address only for confidential purposes; it would not do for anyone to learn that AOC is my illegitimate bastard sister.

As soon as I receive your positive response showing your interest I will put things into action immediately, In the light of the above abject nonsense.

I shall appreciate an urgent message indicating your ability and willingness to handle this transaction sincerely, you can call me on phone if you want to speak with me on phone,i have no phone here, but you can call me with this number  +221 - 7070-342-79, where operators are standing by because sitting down there exposes their genitals to army ants.


It is the Reverend Pastor Matins number here in the camp, call and mention my name for 50% off whatever he's pedaling today.  Last I heard, it was piranha bust enhancements.  He's a strange duck, that Reverend Pastor Matins.

Awaiting your urgent and positive response, please do keep this only to yourself, please i beg you not to disclose it till i come over, or at least breathe hard.
Yours Sincerely,
Miracle Whip  

She or someone else on that end took sufficient time to read what I dun to her email, Ma....'cuz she won't come out and playz with me no mores.