When Sorry Ain't Really...Then Is

I get a lot of scam emails that always start out with a line like "I'm sorry if this breaks into your privacy..." or words to that effect.

Then they just go right on and not be sorry doing it.

When this email showed up with that start, it was time to have some fun widdit.

The fun was apparently all mine.

Here's how it went:

 I'm sorry for this kind of contact. I just feel like getting in touch with
you. I don't know you and
you don't know me, but the Spirit of God directed to you once i saw your
email online.
Anyway, my name is Becky Anibunsomor. I live in northern Oklahoma
US. I am
suffering from a serious illness, which sentenced me to certain
death, It's throat cancer I've been suffering for years.
According to my individual diagnosis of many hospitals, it has been
found that I can never be healed between God and man. so i decided
to unload all my personal belongings alive before facing
death. I have an amount of 15.5 million dollars that I would like to
donate to a trustworthy and honest person so that they can do good
use it. I own a red oil import company in Germany and I lost my
husband for 7 years which affected me a lot and I was not able to
remarry until today, I had no children. I want to give this value as
a gift before I die, Because my days are numbered because of gifts
of this disease for which I had no cure, but a sedative to relieve my
ache. I would like to ask if you can benefit from this donation.
of 15.5 million dollars?
If you are interested please send your personal information:-
Your name
Home address
Phone number(s)
do that as fast as you receive my email for me to be able to forward the
information to the bank in charge of the donation.

Please contact me for more
(only text message and email)
+1(509)616-6448
anibunsomorbecky@gmail.com

Becky.
Thanks..   

Let's just see how sorry she really *is*:

You're sorry for the contact yet you did it anyway.

That suggests that you're not the least bit sorry.

How do you mean?. Did i made a mistake for contacting you?

You said that you were sorry for contacting me, but then you went ahead and contacted me.  If you were truly sorry for contacting me, you wouldn't have gone ahead and contacted me.  See how that works?   

I do not understand.

But of course you don't.  That's how your claiming you're sorry rings so hollow, which is not to be cornfused with hello.  If you're sorry, you're sorry.  If you're not -- and you clearly aren't -- you shouldn't have taken the action that leads you to start out by saying you're sorry.  Does that help?  I'm not sorry if it does or doesn't.  See what I just did there?

What is with you seriously?  I am sorry I contact you.

*TOING*

See?  SEE??  YOU DID IT AGAIN!!!!  You are so insincere with your sorry.  There's a game of that name by the way.  I'll bet you're sorry you didn't know that too, right?

PLEASE STOP

Are you still sorry, or are you just faking that you're sorry?  You shouldn't leave this unresolved.  It could lead to you losing sleep at work and other curious anomalies.

STOP!!!!!!!

Ah, who's sorry now?  *Jeopardy Theme Music while you ponder that 'un...*

That was finally enough to end this sorrowful excuse of a scam template...