Skunkfeathers: More Than A CEO Gets Sacked

I've tried this sober and it didn't work, so I don't reckon being drunk made much difference, other than in momentary expectations.

Speaking of being 'sober', I rather question whether this scammer was so when he pitched me the following email scam offer a little over a week or so ago. He started it rather uniquely:

Barclays CEO Antony Jenkins just got sacked

It went on to 'splain the following:

hi Jack Ewehoff this to inform you that we have receive email from bank cal African bank with your name and with the instruction from f b i office all so other our costumer care to pay this fund please send your bank info to enable me get this transfer don and make sure you send the charge of transfer is 500 USD if you are ready send all this get back to me asap

for effectively doing the job he was originally called in to do, sources tell Business Insider

Barclays sacked CEO Antony Jenkins

And to add authenticity, the scammer added this picture of the alleged sacked CEO:

Granted, getting 'sacked' isn't all that fun unless you're groceries. Then again, a CEO of a world-wide bank probably has a golden parachute that could support the entire 101st Airborne.

Now, my character and the scammer had a couple dozen back 'n forths over the course of this correspondence, during which time his ability to read and comprehend English was sorely tested, and like AOC, he flunked hugely. Among other things, his demand for 500 USD suddenly changed to 500 pouds, particularly after he decided on his angle of choice to be used to fleece my character:

hi Jack inregard of you mail yes sack but know your fund with our comstmer Care so you are adivse to send the payments of 500 poud for cost of transfer all so send your bank details where you wanted the fund to delivery In your account. Waiting for your reply

In spite of my repeating back to him his 'costumer care' and '500 poud', he followed up with what became the cornerstone of his follow up emails:

this formation to send the poud send it with the information with account no were you want us to transfer the fund make sure you send the payment 0f 500 poud waiting for the payment and your account info now

Name : Susan McGowan

SANTANDER BRANCH

15 HIGH STREET

NEWTOWNARDS

COUNTY DOWN

BT23 4XS

NEWTOWNARDS UK

A/C 32335802

SORT CODE. 09-01-29

BIC/SWIFT ABBYGB2LXXX

IBAN GB16ABBY09012932335802

He eventually got around to calling it "500 pounds", but never did get costumer care right; he just kinda dropped it after I inquired about what costumes costumers were being outfitted with.

Perhaps Bidumb get ups are all the rage there:

At any rate, my scammer got ever more insistent on completing the transaction, while I gave excuses for dragging it out like:

I am having a most difficult time finding a money wiring service that can handle something that weighs 500 pouds. Bear with me.

But finally, he got around to insisting that "time was not on our side", and that I really needed to get the 500 pounds to Susan McGowan in NewTownTards, UK.

And that's when a previously used ploy came to mind.

I sent him this picture and this message of how to use the picture:

I have a much better, safer, more secure idea. It cuts to the chase, gets right to the point,

and it guarantees predictable results every time.

I am sending you this photo: print it and take it to your Western Union office there.

Once you arrive there, present the picture to the clerk.

The clerk will ask you, "what is this?"

You will respond with "it's a henway."

The clerk -- recognizing the coded language -- will then ask, "what's a henway?"

You will reply "500 pounds."

The clerk will react in a manner one would expect in this case.

This method has been tried and tested. It works the world over.

Do as I am instructing you and you'll find the results amazing I promise.

I had to wait no more than an hour for the following reply:

do you take me in jest mr jack if you are not uninterested in reviceing the fund get back to me with serousness or not wait my time more.

Do you mean, you silly ninny, that you did NOT follow my instructions? You would have had your 500 pounds by now. What kind of Third World nincompoops are running your operation there?