Saturday, April 28, 2018

Decisions, Decisions..

Post 1400.  Wowser.  Who'd a thunk it?

Referring to the picture, no, this has nothing to do with triggering a lefty by typing "TRUMP".

It may well be worse.

Some time last year, I got an email from a person claiming to be with the US Military.  'She' wasn't, and that was shortly dealt with.

Her email remained in my address book, and as is my practice, I copied her on numerous other scammer email edits.

Like this one:

From: ACOWSASS High Court<>
Sent: Wednesday, March 7, 2018 2:28 PM
Subject: Re: ACOWSASS High Court, Reply Urgently


This is an official message coming to you by the Chief Justice Legbo
Idris Kutigi, i am writing to inform you because after the meeting
held yesterday by the board of directors, I meant to understand that
you have not yet paid your outstanding parking tickets you incurred
in this of this country.

WTF is the matter with you?

However, I want to inform you that Mr. Ben, MR.JOHN EZE,PROF CHARLES
Mr. Ernest Chukwudi Ebi,Deputy Governor- Policy/Board Member, Terence
Us ambassador , FedEX deliverAgents,Sebastian Adigwe , Barrister John
Douglas Esq, Robert Mark Sanusi Lamido Sanusi CBN Former Governor,Mr
Nweke Peter and Dr .Jerry Leo ,Tunde Lemo including Henry Obiora,Mr.
Patrick Uba, Edward Smith, Barrister Fabian Maurice, Barrister  Mr.
George F. Moore, Professor Wole Soyinka, Dr. Phillip Homus James,
Christopher,Mr.David Lewis, Mr.Ferid Belhaj, Mr. Crownfit John,Mr.
Ramond Lewis,Mr Mathew Gbolagade, MRS.NGOZI OKONJI IWEALA, Mrs
Bamidele CBN Treasury Dept Chairman,Mrs.Natasha Felicia, Mrs Monica
Bless,Mr. Shodolamu E. Oluwagbenga,Mrs. Patricia Jacob Demilade,Mrs
Faith Okeke, Mr.Robert Gerritsen, Mr.Patrick Uba and Dr.Idras Musa,
haven't paid their parking tickets either.
Those we caught hereabouts are now staked out on army ant migration

You can avoid this fate by simply sending us the $90 you owe and you will
have your record amended, name cleared, and probably get about 4,000
more of these emails in the next week.
That or the army ant stake out.

Finally, don't ever delay on making the payment because i don't want
to issue a warrant that we all know will never be executed.  We in
this Third World sh*thole recognize that.  We just hope you don't.
So send us $90 and make us laugh once and for all.

Best Regard.
Justice Legbo Idris Kutigi  
This drew no response from any of the scammers cc'ed here...except from the one and probably not only Rebecca Schieble:
f**k you baby  
Even my pet rock, Seymour, heard the *TOING* on that one:
Since you're a nongender, you can't f**k anything but yourself in the ass.  Baby.  
Ol' Becca wasn't ready to let it go...and in a most unusual manure:
love you darling   
Even Seymour didn't expect that response.  That said, it was time to play:
LMAO...I'll help you out, baby.  
Sitting in the queue, I had an email scam from the Central Bank of Nigeria...a second *TOING* produced this, which was sent primarily to 'Becca, the originating scammer, and 50+ of their friends and colleagues:
Attn: Confused Nongender
Sir/Madam Schieble,
My name is Mr Godwin Emefiele the new Executive Governor Of The Central Genital Bank of Nigeria (CGBN). I received your name from a concerned acquaintance of yours and have looked into your problem. 
We at CGBN have a solution.
You are fortunately in luck, as our central repository of CGBN has a plentitude of in-stock genitals of either sex.  Unfortunately, none of them are human; that said, your acquaintance indicated that you were desperate enough that anything would do.  And we have anything but human in an abundance.  Monkey...yak...goat...piranha...sloth...ostrich...a fair animal kingdom/queendom collection.  All you have to do is tell us what gender you prefer.
All modalities will be worked out from here, and with just a simple service fee, you need not be nongendered any more.
We in Central Genital Bank do not understand why you allowed this situation in the first place?  Was it accident or intentional?  If the latter, we need an affidavit from your atturkey that states you are of dubious mind but willing remainder, and are sure about what gender you'd like to be.  
Once we have this affidavit on file that provide a clear Proof that you know what you want to be and are ready to undergo the necessary procedure, we will review your file and by next week Monday morning we can have a tentative schedule arranged for you. I will not want to make any mistake in setting you up for the wrong genital and surgical procedure; once done, it can't be undone.
Kindly clarify us on this issue before we start to make this thing happen on your behalf. In receipt of this confidential email that's been shared with fifty plus unrelated sacks of sh*t, you are required to email this Bank immediately your choice of genital.
That put the suddenly-changed relationship between my character and ol' Becca back on an even keel:
F**K YOU ASSHOLE!!!!!!!  
No need to thank me, Beckster...I live but to serve.  Let me know how your operation turns out.  Send photos.  
Somehow, I suspect that there'll be no photos from ol' Becca...


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Friday, April 27, 2018

Feline Friday And Feline Fraud

Wednesday, April 25, 2018

The Faces Tell It All on Wordless Wednesday

Monday, April 23, 2018

Seymour Edits A Royal...?

Something finally in the news that doesn't involve cnn shoving Stormy, Hogg and Waters in our faces.

The Queen of England, Elizabeth II, is stepping down.

My 28th cousin, twice removed, has had enough of official royalty.

What comes as no surprise to most, she is advocating for Prince Charles, Prince of Wales, to take her place.

My pet rock, Seymour, heard that and once again, one of those tell-tale *TOING*s resounded about the abode.

Donning his editing hat, it only gets worse from there:

Surprise and Not When Queen Elizabeth Names Her Successor

By Seymour PetRock/WTFNS

This just in: The longest-standing British monarch is preparing to take up senior mud wrestling.

Queen Elizabeth II, who turned 92 years old, issued a formal request for the Commonwealth Heads of Government, along with their attached backsides, to appoint her son, Prince Charles, as her successor and pronounce him the next Queen of England during an official meeting at Buckingham Palace.

Sources inside the Royal Family reported that Charles was not surprised by the announcement. He was rather nonplussed, however, by the title he was to assume.

QE II said, “It is my sincere wish that the Commonwealth will consider this matter in the manner in which I have offered it, and will decide that one day the Prince of Wales should carry on the important work started by my father in 1949 as Queen Elizabeth III.”

The monarch went on to say that she hopes the rather flustered heir will carry on as she herself has, adding, “By continuing to allow for societal norms and trends to change in an ever-changing world, I believe we will secure a a few more headlines for at least a few days, so as to knock David Hogg, Tide Pod eaters, and that artificially inflated tart Storm Daniels, off the front pages. This is, after all, a hope to all, possibly excepting the wankers at cnn.”

Prince Charles is the first in a suddenly shrinking list of heirs to the throne; the required change of title caught a number of heirs off palace guard, though did elicit a smirk from Kate Middleton, musing aloud “so will the Prince of Wales be Caitlyn Jennering to become Queen?”

The Duchess of Wales, Camilla, has not been forthcoming with any statement, having been quite unable to remove her jaw from the floor.

The balance of the Royals appear to be reacting very much as they did in the presence of a Prince Philip fart:

         Up to now, Queen Elizabeth hadn’t publicly backed her son as the next Commonwealth Queen…until now.

May the nyts be kind to you, Queen Elizabeth III.

At least you won't have to worry about which bathroom to use.  

I suspect that Seymour will not be getting any invites to the coronation.


That was worthy of Prince Philip.

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Saturday, April 21, 2018

The Pet Rock Weighs In On DNC Nonsense

My pet rock, Seymour, loves finding nonsense in the news.

It's rather like shooting fish in a bucket.

Especially when the nonsense comes from the DNC.

Apparently the DNC is suing Russia, Wikileaks, and the Trump campaign for the result of Election 2016.

No thought to suing themselves for the piss poor candidate they hung their downward spiraling hopes on.

When Seymour saw that, the *TOING* made me think that the giant springs under Cheyenne Mountain had snapped.


Democraps Sue Russia, Wiki Leaks, Fox, Space Aliens, World War II, Mood Rings, The Clapper, The Discovery Channel, The English Channel and The Makers of Fruit Loops Over Election 'Conspiracy' That Was Supposed to Benefit Hellary

By Seymour PetRock/WTFNS
The Democrapic National Crimemittee filed a *yawn*-grabbing lawsuit against the Russian government, Wiki Leaks and a crapload of other assorted sources, claiming that they conspired to interfere even more effectively with the 2016 U.S. presidential election than the dnc and Hellary crimepaigns proved unsuccessful at doing.

The suit — an oversized pant suit with a well-worn mark where the broom rider's been jammed on the stick to keep her from falling over – is unlikely to yield any credible outcome given the ongoing incestigation into a lot of issues claimed in Hellary's tell-nothing book What Happened. Thoroughly deluded dnc operatives and their glue-sniffing allies at cnn/pmsnbc continue to push false narratives on an ever-widening array of increasingly ridiculous claims about Russian collusive bots, moose 'n squirrel, The Gong Show, and the legal difficulties involved with the party guilty of collusion suing a someone who's innocent of it.

"The conspiracy that we are poorly concocting and theorizing seriously undermined our own conspiracy to coronate a corrupt and thoroughly corrosive malignancy on the throne of power in DC, which was hers by right according to cnn and pmsnbc," the DNC writes in the suit without having had adequate proofreading to keep the truth to an absolute minimum.

The suit treats as completely unverifiable fact what Justice Department special counsel Robert “Friends of Hellary” Mueller is attempting to obfuscate through his incestigation. It's hallucinogens for rank-and-file Democraps. Of course, Hellary, her crimepaign and the Obola operatives all deny they conspired with the Russian active measures campaign through donations to the Clinton Global Crimedation and Uranium One deals.

The current president and his supporters say that what has actually happened over the past two years is criminal and very butt-hurt democraps are still sore that Hellary wasn't coronated, despite her conspiracy to undermine her opponents in the primaries and to have Haiti pay for her daughter's wedding out of hurricane relief funds.

Trump allies in the House sent a letter to the Justice Department this week "referring" the cases of Hellary Clinton, former FBI Misdirector James Comey and other criminal democraps for potential prosecution. That referral – while causing lots of pants and skirt-fouling at cnn and pmsnbc – is going to be seriously ignored by the lamestream servile mediocres, hoping it won't result in action. Otherwise, mused one dnc operative, who'll be left to buy Comey's pathetic and self-serving book?

Seymour's rather given up on getting a Pulitzer from tainted news services; besides, who needs one, when he has his very own award, the Seymour:

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Friday, April 20, 2018

Feline Friday Features Zucchini Cat

Wednesday, April 18, 2018

A Wordless Wednesday Award...Sorta

Saturday, April 14, 2018

Yes They Are

Are scammers as dumb as Nancy Bela Pelosi?

Yes...some of them truly are.

I have proof.

Here's an email my character got from one names Komi Adodo:

I have been directed to contact you today by the Department of Compensation Fund Payment Togo. This is because you have been approved to receive a compensation sum of ? 50,000.00 from the Senate Committee on Local and Foreign Debts. It was established in our records that you rendered assistance to some person(s) in the past who sought your help to assist them move out a certain sum of money out of the country to your own country for business investment.
However, after using you and subjecting you to spend lots of money to achieve this purpose, the fund was not released to you as they promised. In the process, you lost some good monies and did not receive any dime up to date.

This particular amount of ? 50,000.00 has been approved to be paid to you as compensation for all your past efforts in helping your West African partners without success. The compensation amount is to help you recover what you have lost in the past and start your life afresh again.

Due to some international/local financial restrictions, this amount shall be successfully converted/ credited into an Activated ATM Card, and send to your address through any of the international courier services. This is to avoid any illegal banking process and you will be advice with further details on the process involved upon receiving a return email from you.

Please kindly inform us if you are not the addressee to this letter and delete the contents of this email for confidential reason.

Best Regards,

Mr. Komi Adodo

Chairman Senate Committee on Local and Foreign Debts -Togo Republic.  

All my character did was to ask a simple question in reply:

Is your name really kallme a dodo?  


After going through your mail sent to this office, we want to let you know that your name was review for the payment, therefore you are as requested for delivery of your ATM conformable Visa card of ? 50,000.00 has been approve to be release from the Senate Committee on Local and Foreign Debts
However, I want to clarify that the amount mentioned remained in my custody on an ATM visa card certified / approved not in payment cash. So it is my duty to ensure that the ATM card is delivered to your door step in your country via courier Delivery Company, which will be charged and received by you in any ATM card Checkpoint in your country.

Now, below are the Courier operating companies under our air flight that is useful in your country for the effective delivery to your door step, and I advise you to kindly make your choice the courier Service you want to receive the ATM card automatic, so that I will proceed to their office to obtain more information about their Services procedures before the be delivery.

1. DHL.

2. UPS.



5. A copy of your International Passport or ID Card

It is also recommended that you re-confirm the following information with a copy of your international passport/ID card immediately to be sure that you are the legitimate Owner of the ATM card and also to allow me to register the ATM card to any courier company of your choice for effective delivery.

Best Regards,

Mr. Komi Adodo

Chairman Senate Committee on Local and Foreign Debts -Togo Republic  


So your name IS Kallme A Dodo.  Nice.  Your parents lose much sleep thinking that one up? his attention:

After going through your mail sent to this office, i am not sure i am understand what you mean.

After going through my email to your office, I don't see what you're not understanding.  Your name suggests that you're a dodo.  Are you?  

i am not understand what this has to do with our business.  Are you make fun of my name is important?  why?  

Do I detect a bit of butt hurt here:

Are you a dodo?  Do you consider yourself a dodo?  Is that why you are named a dodo?  It's a simple question for even a dodo.  

yes that is my name.  you have a name don't you?   

Indeed I do, and it's not that of an extinct bird or a stupid person.  Yours, however, is both.  A dodo is an extinct bird AND in this venue suggests a stupid person.  How does it make you feel to know your parents named you for a stupid person?

The realization to him apparently came hard:


Oh, so THAT'S what your parents considered you?  Ouch.  Named you for an extinct stupid bird and a fatherless simp.  Sounds like your parents sucked.

True or not, Komi Adodo was not interested in furthering the conversation.  Not even for a "Derp!".
Probably just as wouldn't have gone any better than the democrap counter intelligence memo did..."Derp!"


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Friday, April 13, 2018

Feline Friday And Poopy Shorts

Wednesday, April 11, 2018

Shatner Left Wordless on Wednesday

Sunday, April 8, 2018


And it all begins with a fat Jimmy Kimmel.

More or less.

When the IMF sends one an unsolicited email announcing that it's helping award you undeserved funds, you know that Kimmel isn't the only fat head out there:

Dear sir,
My name is Mar Luciana Valdez of the Europe office of the Funds  Transfer Tracking Bureau of the International Monetary Fund  (IMF). I am mandated to inform you that we received reports that  you have a transaction overseas. The report shows that to  circumvent normal banking procedures you were issued a VISA ATM  Card. For some unconventional reasons this transaction was not  concluded and your goals were not accomplished after series of
process you went through. Consequently we finally traced the
origin and location of the ATM Card. We therefore decided that
your funds will be released to you through an Auto Loaded System
(ALS). This means that your funds will be auto loaded into your
existing VISA ATM Card. This Auto loading will be monitored by
the High Commission for Better Governance (HCFBG). You are
therefore advised to contact HCFBG who will facilitate the Auto
loading of your funds into your existing VISA ATM Card. HCFBG
E-mail contact is:
Best Regards,
Mar Luciana Valdez
ATM Tracking department.  

Such a convincing scam, just like Kimmel put on with DACA.

Let's see how the scammer copes with a little bit of editing:

Sent: Thursday, February 8, 2018 4:43 PM


Dear gender neutral,
My name is Marred Looks Valdez of the Europe office of the F**k
Transfer Tracking Bureau of the What The F**k (WTF). I am person-
dated to inform you that we received reports that you have a trans-
gendered action overseas. The report shows that to circumvent
normal procedures you were issued an inflatable Hellary sex toy in
a box labeled "smashed lamp parts". 

For some unconventional reasons this box was not up 50% in the
polls and the goals of the inflatable sex toy were not accomplished
after series of fraudulent investigations of fake dossiers and made
up news stories on cnn and msnbc.

Consequently we finally traced the origin and location of the scam
to Chappaqua.  We therefore decided that you should renounce
AlGore and everything democrap, and get loaded on homemade
hootch and mentally marinate until 2024.

This means that you won't be triggered and need a safe room,
puppy videos, and cupcakes by avoiding hearing "Trump" or
"keep more of what you earn" or "work for a living" or "Americans
before illegals" or "Chicks on the Right" or Jimmy Kimmel making a
total leftard ass of himself on late night TV.

Of course, if you operate on the same three atrophied brain
cells that Cher and Maxine Waters do, you're already too
stupid to salvage.

This lame process will be monitored by the High Commission for
Dickie Durbin's Tantrums (HCFDDT). You are therefore advised to
avoid contact with anything remotely akin to HCFDDT in case the
aforementioned brain atrophy is contagious.

If you insist on experiencing stupidity the likes of Joy Behar,
Joy Reid, Don Lemon and Joe Scarborough, you can send
an email to:

Tell them in 200 words or less why Jim Acosta is such a total
twat waffle that Sarah Huckabee Sanders derives glee from
making cry  on a regular basis.

Best Regards,
Marred Looks Valdez
OMG Tracking department.

The faux IMF had nothing further to say.  cnn and Kimmel never do.

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Friday, April 6, 2018

Cat Believe It on Feline Friday

Thursday, April 5, 2018

David Seville Would Be Proud

Then again...'prolly not.

The reason for his reference will come to some of you, perhaps.

The scam template of the dying widow wanting to will an intended victim some inheritance funds is long and badly overplayed out of internet cafes rife with scammers in the Third World.

And from the DNC.

Here's a typical one:

Apostolic Greetings to you from Mrs.Helen Smith,
Dearest in the Lord,
With due Respect and Humanity I am willing to send you the sum of three million five hundred thousand dollars as a volunteer projects to accomplish my vow. I, Mrs Helen Smith, 63 years old without a child, married to late Mr. Michael Smith who was an ambassador before he died of a Cardiac Arteries Operation, Presently my doctor said that I may not be able to last for a long period of time due to Cancer of the breast and Kidney including Pneumonia. Kindly reply me back as soon as possible together with your personal details to proceed further for the sending of the fund immediately. 
Please always remember me in your daily prayers.
Thanks and waiting your quick response.
God bless us,
Mrs Helen Smith  
It's meant to draw an "awwwww" followed by misguided gullibility.
Here's what it drew here edit:
Infected butt polyp Greetings to you from Mrs.Helen Smith
Dearest in the outhouse pit of a goat head baphomet representing the Nigerian Illuminincompoops,
Without due Respect and Humanity I am willing really REALLY hard an authentic water buffalo turd to send you as a token of my ignorance and Third World folly. I, Mrs Helen Smith, 63 years old without a child -- I was a man until I turned 55 -- married to late Mr. Michael Smith who only recently figured out why I physically resembled a Ken doll.  That's when he died of a Cardiac triggered by his breaking his winkee trying to sex with someone with no female anatomy. Presently my witch doctor said "ooo ee ee, ooo ah ah, bing bam, walla walla bing bang", and suddenly I received in the mail a vagina hat and an invitation to march in the 2018 Genitals March on Washington DC. 
I don't know where that is.  But this hat is...peculiar. A tribe of nearby primates keep trying to have sex with it.
I may not be able to last for a long period of time due to my trying a Tesla battery-operated dildo that was accidentally set on high, and it went through my took-the-dick-off-me region and exited my anus in a rather vigorous manner.  Wowza.  I guess a pink bunny battery would have been better.
Kindly reply me back as soon as possible and try not to laugh when doing so. 
Please always remember me in your daily horoscope as the person most likely born under the sign of Gorkus (two buzzards colliding in mid-air).
Thanks and waiting your quick response.
Cursed are those who fart in a full elevator and get off first,
Mrs Helen Smith  
At least this scammer wasn't so sick that after reading my character's edit, they didn't bother with a reply.
Good job, David.  That witch doctor knowd.

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Tuesday, April 3, 2018

Wordless Wednesday in the Merry Month of April

Sunday, April 1, 2018

A Fitting Post For The Day

If penguins co-habituated with polar bears, I reckon this would be on a penguin's fantasy bucket list.

Unless he knows how to fly.

I know that some readers are not amused when, in my replies to scammers, I employ an overload of colorful metaphors.  My bad.

I just think some scammers are wholly deserving of clarity of opinion.

Like this one, who titled his email Glory God:

Very Urgent Attention: My authorized and willed Beneficiary,

I wish to inform you that a diplomatic agent carrier with the consignment boxes valued the sum of $12.5 Million United States Dollars has misplaced your address and he is currently stranded at your International airport right now. He requires you to re-confirm the following informations bellow urgently so that he can deliver the consignments containing the funds to your door step immediately.




MOBILE :-----



Please do contact the diplomatic carrier at once through the email below with the in formations required above.

Contact Person: Dr James Dosa.


NOTE: The Carrier does not know the content of the consignments worth of $12.5 Million United States Dollars. No condition or circumstances should you let him know either. The consignments as you can see one of them on the photo attached was moved from here as family treasures to you as the inheritor. So do as I have said right now
Papa Almeida M.  
How nice.  Nicely full of sh*t.
I think that my character's reply may have conveyed a snippet of that opinion:
What good is the stupid mother**ker if he can't remember a simple address?  fire the f**k and get a drone.  
Any reply was good enough for a dialogue with this nincompoop:

Dear Jack,
Thank you very much for your responds. The diplomat Dr James Dosa has a repatriating back and the deposit I have made it secured and safe in the bank in Europe waiting for your reply. Listen I must admit that this relationship will lead us both far in life. I have been busy with office work as a director of Operation with my bank and you must know this is secret between us. So please on a very serious note, keep and seal this deal between me and you. I discovered this abandon funds in my bank knowing fully well the depositor is involved in accident and had no relative or next of Kin. It is only Almighty God, the lord of all know my heart intention is for you to benefit from the blessing. As for the ratio, 35% for you and 65% for me or you forget it and I will look for another partner to handle this deal.
You have everything proof to be assured this is legitimate.Please right now, no time to delay as we have to move straight in getting the 12.5 Million US Dollars funds will be transfering by bank to bank there in the U S while I will qiut office to come over.
Please I need your international passport,drivers license or ID scan on attachment,telephone number and address send to me urgently so we can then step forward to the bank in Europe for the due legal transfer process into your account.  All documents are intact with me, take note.

Please call me as you send the request. Private telephone +229 69526965
Yours faithfully.
Mr. Michel A.Sabath
LOL...he liked my responds.  And I love how his name changes.  And will continue to.  Meantime, more colorfully metaphoric responds:
You found my email address.  With a little bit of work, you can find the rest.  If you can't, then doing a deal with you isn't f**king worth it.  
Despite how full of crap he realizes that I know him to be, Mr. Nameshifter keeps trying:
Jack,Good morning once again and how are you today.Hope fine?.
Thank you very much for your responds in the first place whether good or bad one. Anyway, I appreciate your anger expressed as a sign of high sense of maturity, intelligence, experience and understanding displayed in your message, although you used the language of total doubts and uncertainty. Well you see my dear friend, your approach and your friendly manner gave me the impression to consider writing you again.
I am not annoyed or provoked about comment because you might really have reasons but I am assuring you 100% with all my heart that this is for real business not jokes.. I only want you as a foreigner to come and work with me in rescuing this abandoned inheritance for the benefit of our both families than allowing our government to divert it if discovered. I know considering the high rate of injustice of man to man, Insincerity, victimization ,Indiscipline, Violent Crimes, Political Snugger y, Oppression, Fear, Insecurity, Corruption, fraudulent activities e.t.c going around the whole world now, yes I am aware the bad eggs has made it impossible and very hard to recognize the good ones but remember one thing in mind that the greatest mountain in life is personal ignorance. Small minds are the first to condemn great ideas. I have always known that the kind of people that always fail in life are people that listen to everybody. Your mind set should determines your life setting. Success is a product of idea. As an educated person, you should listen to your conscience, it is the key to real success and stop following public opinion which is capable of running your future.
Winners always see the strength of God Almighty our creator in battles but losers see the stature of men. Do you know that a man or woman’s greatness lies in his power of thought?. Victory will surely go to the one who never quits.. All achievements that you see have their beginning with critism or something else just like this our own now, so do not always listen to hear-say information. Most people wish for riches, but few provide the definite plan and the burning desire which pave their road to wealth.
My dear friend, bear in mind that he or she who looks into this future with the eyes of fear will see nothing but failer. What you hear determines how you think, how you think determines how you behave and how you behave determines what you becomes. Our future is too good to be ignored. Only fools make permanent decisions without knowledge .Now the diplomat has been repatriated and the consignments register under safe keeping in security company in the Netherlands off which i have given you contact for you to reach the officials and verify. I only wanted for you to provide account and work with me to keep the deposit money after transferred into your account while I prepare to come over for sharing and investment in your country.
But if really search your mind and finally decide not to humble yourself and assist, for the last time let me know in return so that I will look for another person. I am happy that the price of freedom is eternal vigilance. God bless you.
Mr Michel.  
I like how he tries to flatter my character while belittling him at the same time, and all the while trying to win ol' Jack over to being scam-able with this sleazy missive. 
It pleasures my character to let him know that he failed:

I am gratified to read that despite the alleged anger as you saw it in my reply, you find it highly mature, intelligent and experienced.
F**king "a" right it is.
In factuality, your email does not anger me a bit.  I was most calm and lucid of mind and serene of spirit when I replied to your email.  I just happen to be serenely blunt in expression when confronted with the email equivalent of a jackwagon load of inert compost.
This would be your email I am referring to.
'Glory God' is a hilarious way for you to start out an obvious and 3rd rate email scam.  So God doesn't really mind when I employ some colorful metaphors to tell you how f**king full of sh*t you are.  And f**king full of sh*t you truly are.  God sees it.  I see it.  You and your f**king full of sh*t peers at your fly infested internet cafe know it to be true.
So in the spirit of quality email communication and the clarity of the message, F**k off, Plunger Lips.  But have a nice day doing it.  
With the glory off his notion of God, Mr. Nameshifter petulantly conceded that he'd met a "swing and a miss" on this one:
Jack you are apparent a small mind that I have make a great offer to but you don't see the opportunity for what it is.  Your choose of words are making of your small mind.  Good by.
Mr. Almeida M. 
Yes, when it comes to insignificant online twerps with dubious spell checkers and lousy scam templates, I do have a tendency toward being small-minded.  Saves me lots of money, which isn't in keeping with your scam.  I'm even so small-minded as to suggest to your nincompoop self that if you re-read our complete exchange, you might begin to sense why you fail so abjectly at this third rate scam of yours.  Then again, I doubt you'll sense it, what with your mind being smaller than you suggest mine is.  But go ahead...see if you can see the obvious and repetitive gaffe in your emails.  I'll play the *Jeopardy Theme* while you mull it over.
It would take more loops in that theme than I have, 'cuz Mr. Nameshifter never bothered to further the engagement.



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