Thursday, March 10, 2016

Queen For A Scam

Meet Queen Colman.  Or so she claims to be.

This is how she introduces herself on the internet:

Hello, how are you today?
I am Queen Colman, i have vital information
that i want to disclose to you it is very urgent.

Urgent, eh?  I have my character respond promptly, if not urgently, and in a manure to see how good her reading comprehension is:

Where or what are you queen of?
Retired late actor & entremanure  
The answer to that question is, her reading comprehension early on ain't all that good:
 Dearest One,
How are you dear?, I am happy for your reply to my email .How was your day today? My name is Queen Colman 23 years old single and never married,I am the only daughter of my Father, am from Liberia in West Africa and presently i am residing in the camp here in Dakar Senegal as  result of the civil war that was fought in my country some years ago.

My late father Dr. David Colman, who was one of the most successful entrepreneurs in my country and my mother was a senior accountant Eco Bank in Monrovia the capital of my country and he was also the personal adviser to our former head of state before the rebels attacked our house one early morning and killed him with my mother in cold blood.

l don't have any relatives now whom l can go to all my relatives abscond in the middle of the war the only one l have now is Rev. Peter Robert who is the pastor of the (Chosen The Light Church ) here in the camp he has been very nice to me since i came here but i am not living with him rather i am leaving in the women hostel due to the camp have two hostels one for women & the other for men The Pastors Tel number is (00221784669648)  if you call tell him you want to speak with me, then he will send for me in the female hostel. As a refugee here i don't have any privilege to anything be it money or whatever because it is against the law of this country.I want to go back to my studies because i only attended my first year before the tragic incident that lead to my being in this situation now took place.

Please listen to this,i have my late father's statement of account and death certificate here with me which i will send to you later,because when he was alive he deposited some amount of money in a leading bank which he used my name as the next of kin,the amount in question is $2.7M(Two Million Seven Hundred Thousand US Dollars).

So i will like you to help me transfer this money to your account and from it you can send some money for me to get my traveling documents and air ticket to come over to meet with you.I kept this secret to people in the camp here the only person that knows about it is the Reverend because he is like a father to me. Regarding to the above i will like you to be confidential and don't tell it to anyone for i am afraid of loosing my life and the money if people gets to know about it. Remember i am giving you all this information due to confident I confide on you. I like sincere, kind, respectful, honest and understanding people, truthful and a man of vision, truth and hardworking.I love English language but I would like to know many other if God give me the opportunity but i speak English very good .However I will like you to call me because we still have a lot to discuss. Attached below is my picture. I am seriously looking a nice  person of kind heart in my life.

Thanks and God bless you
Looking forward to your urgent response & have a nice day.
Yours In  Love

Okay...a further test of her reading comprehension is thus called for:
Well, I'll tell you about me.
I was born in the wagon of a traveling show.  My momma danced around for the money they'd throw.  Papa did whatever he could...preached a little gospel or selling gallon bottles of Dr. Hook.
From there I was inadvertently sent to a convent.  Me, in a convent, is kinda like sending a three peckered goat to a school for ewes. 
I graduated from there valleydicktorian, and then I began a business.
I was married once.  Once...when she left me she took the dawg, the truck, my collection of Slim Whitman records and dildo manufacturing machine that was the core of my business.
Been single since then.
So...are you looking for someone to be your sugar daddy, or are you looking for love in all the wrong places?  And where in Hell's half acre is Senegal?
Retired late actor & entremanure  
This test she -- or her handlers -- apparently passed.  No more emails from Queenie.

And my pet rock was so looking forward to getting to wear her crown.


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Blogger Sandee said...

Bwahahahahahahaha. After your response I'd be without words too.

Have a fabulous day Mike. My very best to my buddy Seymour (with or without the crown). ☺

10 March, 2016 08:06  

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