Thursday, May 5, 2011

Another Royal Snub?

Granted, they're royalty and all, but DANG. That's TWICE.

And just wait 'til you hear what they may have missed out on.Y'all know who this pictured on the right is: Prince William and his bride, Kate Middleton. Now, officially, the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge.

Why Cambridge, I have no ideer. They didn't consult me. Iffen they had, I would have suggested a title that would have been just as royal, and would have tickled the snarf out of a friend of mine: The Duke and Duchess of Earl.

What y'all don't know is....pictured here are my 23rd cousin, thrice-removed, and my now 23rd cousinette, thrice-as-removed.

Yep. I am related to royalty. Really.

The royalty is apparently not terribly impressed with that notion.

I can't always keep the lineage straight: my sister is the family genealogist, not me. But the Queen of England -- yep, that one -- is my 23rd cousin, once-removed. Which means...uh huh...that Prince Charles and the Duchess of Cornwall -- Camilla -- are my 23rd cousins, twice-removed. And so on, and so on.

The lineage that makes it so goes back to the direct link up via King William The (Bastard) Conqueror. Somewhere thereafter, the branch of the royal tree upon which I would one day reside, growd, got blowd off in an English storm, became part of someone's thatched roof...whatever. Bottomline, my being related to royalty, and fifty cents, isn't worth a decent cup of bloody tea, by jove.

Still...we're related. And just as in '05...Willie and Katy stiffed us: no royal wedding invite. Then, I reckoned -- and excused away -- Charles and Camilla's snub as their staff losing our invites.

But AGAIN? Twice in one century? Ruddy bad form, eh wot.

However, their bad form needn't result in me following suit. I may be a commoner, but I am a commoner with manures. And -- just as I did in '05 -- I am going to prove it, by dispatching to their Royalnesses a letter that (a) forgives the snub and (b) offers them several choices of wedding gifts.

Personally, I'm going to recommend that they go with the His/Hers bath towels, with iron-on royal monograms. I found a helluva deal at Walmart. I think that, at the very least, Duchess Cuzzin Kate will be impressed.

'Cuz this cuzzin cain't iron for sh**.

If -- as in '05 -- I get a response, I'll post both h'yar.

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Blogger Sueann said...

Oh I would love to hear that response for sure!!!

05 May, 2011 03:34  
Blogger Unknown said...

Oh, my. I had no idea you were of royal descent! I'm impressed!

05 May, 2011 07:07  
Blogger Deb said...

Don't feel bad, Skunks, Michelle Obummer didn't get an invite either even though she hinted broadly.

05 May, 2011 07:10  
Blogger Sandee said...

You are so full of it. I love it too. Silly man indeed.

If I'd gotten an invite I wouldn't have gone. Yawn.

Have a terrific day. :)

05 May, 2011 09:21  
Blogger Unspoken said...

I hate the snobbery within families ;). Just disgusting.

05 May, 2011 15:53  
Blogger Andy said...

Skunks, this might be convoluted, but that's nothing new...

Back when I was in High School, I was in the Leo's kinda like a Lion's Club for mush-heads. Anyway, once a week we got to eat lunch with "The Lions." Cool, huh?

Anyway, one Thursday the guest speaker was a hereditary expert, who was really fascinating. Really, he was. He explained things about blood lines, and all. And, he kinda shocked all the Lions (and us two fortunate Leos that got out of typing class that Thursday because we were Leos). He looked around the room and said, "I don't see any black folks in here, or anyone that looks Hispanic. So, I can say with almost 100% certainty that ALL OF YOU SHARE A COMMON ANCESTOR!"

Then he went on to explain how almost all white Europeans living in the US are kin to King Charlemagne.

Seems that old Charlie had more wives and concubines than Solomon, and there's a good chance that back about 22 generations, we all got connected to the fornicator.

Like I said...convoluted. So, you and me are most likely kin.


05 May, 2011 22:52  
Blogger Right Truth said...

Royal connections, oh my. Good thing you live in the United States.

"Duke, Duke, Duke, Duke of Earl, Earl, Earl..."

Right Truth

06 May, 2011 09:48  
Blogger Shrinky said...

Do I have to curtesy every time I come in here, now? It's so painful when families split in two, shame on Queenie for turning her back on you, I think you show great royal character to still offer a wedding gift..

09 May, 2011 00:44  

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