Monday, October 31, 2011
Wednesday, October 26, 2011
A Little This A Little That
Saturday, October 22, 2011
Seymour "Writes" Again...
Wednesday, October 19, 2011
Sunday, October 16, 2011
Denver has an AFC West team. Y'all knowd that. Denver won two Super Bowls at the end of the John Elway era. Y'all knowd that.
Since then, Denver has muddled along with less than stellar QBs at the helm. Y'all would be wise to view that statement as subjective. My subjective.
Everyone thought that Mike Shanahan had drafted the next QB messiah, when he got Jay Cutler from Vanderbilt. Cutler showed flashes of brilliance. And immaturity.
So had Elway in his early years.
But the team's fortunes ebbed, and the fans demanded a change. Shanahan was fired. And a surprise blew into town: a 33 year old offensive coordinator for New England, Josh McDaniels.
His age and inexperience, versus his apparently productive tenure under Bill Belichek, were hot topics of discussion. To compound things (or not), he and Cutler were like mixing gas fumes and a lit match. Both behaved badly, and the pouting, immature-acting Cutler went to Chicago, with Kyle Orton coming to Denver.
Chicago was thrilled. Denver was dubious.
Until, in the 2009 season, Denver had a 6-0 start. Suddenly, it was King Josh, Prince Kyle and Jay who?
Denver went into their bye week 6-1. Then came out of it, and along with the 'bye' week went Denver's winning ways. They finished 8-8, after starting 6-0.
The "WTF?"s that had begun with McDaniels' hiring -- and were momentarily silenced after a 6-0 start -- began anew.
2010 began, and the good ship Broncos was further rocked by another quality-athlete-turned-petulant-child, aka Brandon Marshall, leaving for Miami. Eh. Receiver Brandon Lloyd was more than ready to step up. What was more, with a great opportunity in the draft, McDaniels surprised a lot of folks by picking, as Denver's number 1 choice, Florida QB Tim Tebow.
A Heisman winner. A national champion x2 winner. Another messiah according to some; vastly overrated and incapable of being an NFL QB according to others.
But the team had Kyle Orton, described as "adequate" by some analysts. And on top of that, Denver had acquired in the off season, another QB of unachieved (so far) promise and question, Brady Quinn, from Cleveland.
But Orton was the man going into the 2010 season.
And Denver went phffft. A spotty, sputtering offense, unspecial teams play, and a defense that was in name only, left Denver 3-13.
Even before the campaign had ended, poignant fan reaction led to the early departure of McDaniels, and the postseason acquisition of John Fox, formerly of the sputtering Carolina Panthers.
Thanks to the 2011 preseason lock out, lots of mysteries were left Fox & Co. But once training camp began, it became apparent that Fox was determined to go with the QB "who gives us the best chance to win": Kyle Orton.
Orton's two year record as a starter in Denver did not suggest this; but Fox is the coach, and that was that.
Now Denver -- in Orton's third season here -- is 1-4 going into the bye week. In the last game, with Denver's offense anemic and lifeless against San Diego, Fox bowed to whatever he chose to bow to (fan pressure, Orton's uninspired, lackluster play, a fortune cookie, a kick in the pants from above, a mystic pelican paperweight), and substituted Tim Tebow in the second half.
And Denver came within an incomplete pass (and some argue a missed pass interference penalty in the end zone) of winning an exciting, almost comeback game.
Denver returns after their bye week with a road game to another team having a woeful season, Miami. A team that almost traded for Orton before the season began. Fans and many analysts expect (and demand) that Tebow be the starter for the balance of the season, so the team can see just what he's got.
John Fox announced, during the bye week, that at least for now, the fans and analysts will get what they want: Tebow is the starter in Miami.
Meantime, with all the trials and tribulations -- and among those who are NOT rabid Tim Tebow fans -- there are eyes on Denver's record for the remaining 11 games, with an eye on next year's draft, and Stanford QB phenom Andrew Luck.
Anyway, that's the way of things here in Denver.
Now for my two cents: Orton is as inspiring as a porcupine enema. Adequate he may be as a QB, but not in the system here. Trade him to a team that has a sound offensive line that can hold a pocket for an immobile QB, has an established running game and a stout defense, and Kyle Orton will be "adequate".
Give the balance of the season to Tebow. Let him prove he is the "messiah" his fans claim and his critics deny. It's time to see what his draft choice was worth.
And Denver Broncos front office/coaching staff? Call it what it is: a rebuilding phase. To deny that is, to deny there's wind in a tornado or that a fart in an elevator is not gnarly.
If Tebow can show leadership and skills as a field general that the team and fans can gel around, then Fox 'n Company can begin to build a team around him (just as Shanahan did around Elway, resulting in two Super Bowl wins). If he can't, and the losses keep coming...(a) the fans will be answered (well, all but the most rabid pro-Tebow of them will), and (b) Denver can see if their woeful record is woeful enough for the....you knew this was coming....
Luck of the draft.
*ducking boos and throwd fantasy football QB ratings cards*
Thursday, October 13, 2011
The Stand (Off)
The pluses I'll figure out another day, perhaps before I die.
It's what's happening on my homefront while I'm working that's now front and centah.
Y'all know my travails in the kitchen. I'm not nicknamed "Chef Boy-R-Deestructive" for nothing. My smoke detectors tremble and shriek if I get within 10 feet of the kitchen.
But now, they have sought and found allies against the 'evil' Chef Boy-R-Deestructive. Yeah, that's me. And I believe that the genesis of their growing alliance against and resistance to my culinary con carnage, is thanks to that youngster who stole my name to make bad movies that I'd get blamed for, along with my ambitious, plagiarizing pet
In the case of the former, I cite the example, Pearl Harbor. And more recently, Transformers I-III. I sure hope that the dingbat from Ohio that left me a series of "I want a part in your next movie" messages back a few years ago has since found his number, but I digress.
I came home from a particularly arduous night shift the other morning, to find a badly-scrawled note taped to my bedroom door. I knew it wasn't from my pet rock, Seymour, because he's still either riding horses in Loveland or stuck in a time travel loop in the Jurassic era. And it was posted higher on the door than Seymour could reach. Yet, it had a Seymour-esque aire to it.
The note read -- in stilted, dumbed-down education grammar -- "Wi r on 2 u -- thuh citchin".
I made a note to leave a testy message with the property maintenance folks about their sense of humor, and went to bed.
Hours later, I arose to find yet another note -- in similar dysyntax -- taped to my door. This one said "hour armee grose. u wil loos. thuh citchin".
I didn't think it possible for a flash mob from the District of Columbia school district to be invading my flat while I was comatose, to leave me their notion of a valedictorian address on my door. No, this was something else. And in the absence of my pet rock, it had the sense of something more ludicrously nefarious.
That's when I noticed my computer was on. And online. And I never leave it on when I go to bed.
*Horror movie organ salvo*
In checking my email, I found a new email that I hadn't yet read. But someone -- or thing -- else had. The email was from Seymour, under my sister's address. It was long. Verbose. It was an idea for a "never before thunk up" movie idea. Which means that Seymour has seen or heard something yet again, and is pirating the idea for his own silly aspirations.
Seymour apparently saw one or more of the movies made by that director who stole my name, so he could shift some criticism for some of his bad movies to me. Namely, Seymour apparently saw something from the Transformer trilogy.
So he apparently wrote a badly-pirated version of one or more of them, and sent it to my computer email. And someone -- or thing -- read it.
It wasn't long for me to find out the who and/or what, simply by reading the email's theme: Transformers IV -- Last Stand Against The Culinary Barbarian.
Yes, you read that right, just as I did. Seymour has urged my kitchen to rise up against and defeat me. With me depicted as the "evil" Chef Boy-R-Deestructive. And "them" as a combining of farces previously known in Transformerdom as "Autobots" and "Decepticons", now to be knowd as The KitchenBot Alliance.
I may have to send Seymour to Califorlornia for his next junket, and suggest to Sandee that Seymour learn how to 'dive' off the back of her yacht. Well out to sea.
At any rate...a significant portion of my kitchen has taken Seymour's pirated script writing to heart, and has drawn a line in the linoleum. My smoke detectors are eagerly aboard. So is my oven. In the past couple of hours, my microwave and coffee pot have apparently aligned themselves with the KBA, with my lean mean grilling machine, toaster, crockpot and refrigerator are showing similar inclinations. Even my dishwasher is sympathetic to their cause.
Not that I've ever tried to cook anything in there; but it does have the oft-times gnarly task of trying to salvage what's left of my cookware from my culinary con carnage.
I know my computer has expressed some degree of passive support for the KBA, in so far as passing of messages between them and Seymour. On the other hand and so far, my washer and dryer are maintaining an air of neutrality since I've never tried to cook anything in either one of them. And I have the can opener on my side, though it's having to cower in the corner, sharing as it does counterspace with the microwave and coffee pot.
It doesn't like being called an "appliance traitor". I think the KBA is borrowing drivel points from Occupy Wall Street.
Of course, me being the "evil" Chef Boy-R-Deestructive, I'm not tipping my hand as to one of my two ultimate "doomsday" weapons that could quickly and effectively defeat the KBA. One of which the KBA knows of, but hasn't as yet figured out how to thwart or co-opt. The greatest kitchen implement that was ever invented: the telephone, to call for delivery.
But it's my other ultimate "doomsday" weapon that my rebellious foe(s) should fear, for they have no effective way to thwart or co-opt my "nuclear option".
One *pop* of the "citchin" breaker switch, and the Rebellion is ovah. Darth Chef Boy-R-Deestructive remains the Mastah of Culinary Disastah.
Seymour didn't think of that. And since I've seen how Seymour wields a golf putter, a jedi knight with a light saber not to be feared is he, hmmmm.
Monday, October 10, 2011
April Fools In October
The first time I saw televised images of "Occupied Wall Street", I was convinced that the South Park (Trey Parker 'n Matt Stone) duo had gone ahead and done a follow up to Team America: World Police.
The sound bytes from the news report sounded just like quotes from some of the Hollyweird marrionettes in the aforementioned movie ("Evil corporations are so...so...corporationy"). When one protester was asked why he was mad at corporations, his brilliant, MENSAesque response was "because they have all the money and won't give me any!"
Whether you view his opinion as a legitimate beef, or dependency/entitlement mentality run amok, well...wherever you fall on the spectrum, there are more than a few folks in today's society that agree with those protesting on Wall Street and in other locations around the country, including in Denver.
I won't argue that there are some things amiss in today's society. Our constitutional representative republic isn't perfect. No system is or ever can be, so long as Man has individuality, independence of spirit, and runs the gamut from allowing those traits to grow like flowers, to trying to control every last thought, word and action.
But I wouldn't trade our form of governance, with all its faults, for any other I'm aware of on this planet. Certainly not one that tries to beat, intimidate, or make illegal, individuality and independence of spirit ... like forms of socialism, communism and theocracy do. And I certainly wouldn't trade it for what some among these "Occupiers" are demanding.
Just so's you know: I am not rich. Never even been close. Never made more than a middle 5 figure income at any given time, and not making that much at present. Certainly not $20 an hour. But I can pay my bills as long as I keep them in check....(some pun kinda intended). And I don't own or run an "evil" corporation. I do work for a corporation...whether it's evil or not, I guess would depend on if you agree with the protesters about corporations in general, or at least try to sort them in some subjective way.
On a website supporting the Occupy Wall Street protests, a "Proposed List of Demands" is published from one of the protesters. The site itself cautions that this list "is not an official list of demands".
Which is good, because if it were....only the lamestream media and those affected by long term exposure to dumbed down education, would think to take demands like these seriously.
Among the things at least one Occupy Wall Street protester demands "right now":
- a minimum wage of $20 an hour
- a single payer health care system which outlaws all private insurance companies
- a guaranteed living wage, even for the unemployed
- free college education
- completely open borders and no citizenship requirements
- an end to the fossil fuel economy
- 1 trillion dollars -- "right now" -- spent on infrastructure
- 1 trillion dollars -- "right now" -- spent on ecology, to include removal of dams and
nuke power plants
- no restrictions on unionizing employers
- forgiveness of all debt -- "right now" -- regardless of from whenst it is owed.
Now, for those who have come to believe in "entitlements" and have grown dependent upon government assistance, I'm sure a lot of these things sound just peachy. Funnier still...while the website folks at Occupy Wall Street are quick to deny that these are an official "list of demands", there's no doubt that there are plenty of folks therein who agree in part -- possibly in large part -- with these demands, which is why they got a page of their own on the Occupy Wall Street webpage.
How these things will be paid for and sustained, as demanded, isn't laid out by the submitter of the demands. Perhaps he thinks that the president can simply "take it from his stash". But more likely, the protester -- and others like him -- believe that "evil corporations" have all this money that's really ours, and they need to just "give it to us" to make things fair and equitable for all of society.
I seemed to have missed that part when I took economics some years ago. Musta not been paying attention when those things were being taught. Or maybe I was just spared exposure to a Marxist-oriented professor during my college days.
For those of you who've read much of this blog, you know I'm not very supportive of progressive tomfoolery, as so much of this choreographed, paid-for-by-unions-and-others "flash mob" nonsense, truly is. I don't buy into the 'class warfare' that our president is actively, shamelessly advocating. I know better than to think that soaking the rich of more and more taxes will alleviate all of society's ills; such a marxian dream will only lead to more economic downturn and misery, not less.
If the Left could attain what they claim they want, the rich elites therein will be perfectly content to tell the rest of us how to live, think, and depend upon them. A good number of the Left's "foot soldiers" -- on silly display in the news media -- would find that, in the words of a song by The Who -- "they just been fooled again". Lenin referred to them as "useful idiots".
And that's what Occupy Wall Street, and all of its offshoots, are.
Friday, October 7, 2011
Yo Ho Ho
Iranian Navy May Threaten U.S. East Coast
The US Navy has a new threat coming its way, and this time it will be right off the US Atlantic coast.
If that hasn't got you quaking...with laughter...wait until you read this bloviation: The head of the Iranian Navy, Rear Admiral Habibollah Sayyari, told official news agency IRNA that "Iran expects to deploy ships off the coast of the US".
The rest of the story -- after the 'grab you by the lapels' start -- pretty much dismisses the 'threat' as "baseless propaganda from the Islamic Republic".
Duh. Ya think?
But hey: after Ahmadinejad fell pretty much face-first into his cous cous with his empty UN bloviations, and even pissed off al-Qaeda in the process, someone there had to try to one-up him in making stupid, unsustainable threats that don't amount to a can of Spam.
So, Rear Admiral Habbibollah "Yosemite Sam" Sayyari, I say bring it on. The US Navy could use some live fire exercise practice in sinking something worth little more than an empty hulk.
Assuming, that is, that any of the Iranian Navy can find its way into the open sea, without foundering.
Whatever arrives, might be just enough to whet the appetite of the weapons crew of one US frigate.