Thursday, June 30, 2011
Monday, June 27, 2011
IRS r Scammed
Friday, June 24, 2011
How "Coud" I -- Part II
Monday, June 20, 2011
How "Coud" I?
Friday, June 17, 2011
Who's Who Meets WTF -- II
In the last installment, I had been contacted by Who's Who Among Executives and Professionals, as a candidate to be included in their 2011 publication. Granted, the date I was to have responded by for inclusion, was May 25, 2001; I received the email from them on June 8.
Details, details. Scammers don't tend to sweat them, so I didn't reckon that I would, either.
Tuesday, June 14, 2011
Who's Who Meets WTF -- I
*Writer's note: this is Blog Posting #600. Where else can you go to get 600 postings of absolute sh** like this? If you know a place, fuggetaboudit: you got me right 'chere*
I don't reckon the Who's Who folks are going to be near as impressed with me, as these cows seem to be udderly fascinated with her.
But I digress.
Yes, in 2007 or so, I was notified by Madison's Who's Who that I had been researched and selected as a candidate for their 2007 publication. I had been researched under my own name, but the quality of their research turned up dubious at best, as I sold them on my being of the International Crustacean Obedience Training Institute.
Their research department sucked (though I got some mileage and a blog entry out of it with two of their staff); but it wasn't about the research, anyway. It was about the fees to be included in the book.
Needless to say, I didn't get included in the book.
Now, Who's Who Among Executives and Professionals 2011 has sent me a similar invite.
This particular publication -- when researched online -- has a ton of consumer complaints about 'em. Not that I needed to research 'em to know that. I know scam email when I get it.
Read their opening gambit, and tell me if you see what I seed:
You have recently been selected as a candidate to represent your professional community in this year's edition of Who's Who among Executives and Professionals. Your candidacy for membership was officially approved 5/18/2011. You have been selected based upon your professional experience and achievements, and as such, we believe that your profile makes a fitting addition to our publication (I don't know whether to LMAO or projectile vomit here).
There is no fee (BS) or obligation to be listed in our publication (tell that to the many consumers who have tried to get out of it and/or get their 'no fee' money back). We must receive verification from you that your profile is accurate. After receiving verification, we will validate your registry listing that your profile is accurate. After receiving verification, we will validate your registry listing within seven business days.
Once finalized, your listing will share prominent registry space with thousands of fellow accomplished individuals across the globe (who got had), each representing his or her professional field and geographical region. As a member of the registry, you are also afforded a unique networking opportunity with other professionals (who got suckered) and potential employers across a range of industries, as well as business coaching opportunities from industry experts. Of course, this unique accolade would be a welcome addition to any resume (if it were worth a sh**, which it ain't).
(at this point, I'm directed to click on a link to their website to verify my profile and accept my candidacy; there was no profile for me to verify there. I had to fill out a brief questionnaire, and more on that below, and they go on)
Our registration deadline is 5/25/2011 (I received this email on 6/8/2011). In order to guarantee your inclusion, your verification must be completed on or before this date (wanna bet?). On behalf of our committee, congratulations on your achievement and welcome to our association.
With best regards,
Jason Price, Vice President of Research Division
Now, this was sent to one of my email addresses; but no where on it did it have my name. So just what 'research' they did on me is anyones' guess. Moreover, there was no profile for me to verify; I filled out a quick lil' questionnaire, from which a 'researcher' would contact me about in a few weeks.
And from there, the fun will begin: according to the questionnaire I filled out, I am Jack N. Ewehoff, of Central City, Colorado, and I am the editor of Fixit Form Letters, a business correspondence letter consultant company (aka, my rewriting of email scam letters for fun and annoyance). So as to make it easy for their 'researcher', I listed my real home phone number as my 'bidness' number, and adjusted my voice message to reflect it, using my (un)patented 'redneck' voice.
Can I get past their 'researcher', and onto their no-fee (BS) pitchman?
Saturday, June 11, 2011
Time For Randomalities Again
Wednesday, June 8, 2011
Words Mean Things...Except To The Illiterate
And that's when the true 'fun' begins.
Monday, June 6, 2011
On More Than A Wing and A Prayer
Friday, June 3, 2011
I love it when a scammers asks me in email to do something, and I exceed his/her expectations in such a way as to leave him/her near speechless.
Actually, I tend to leave them totally speechless most of the time, so when they're able to say at least something, it's a bit more fun.
A recent email of note from an alleged "doctor" -- Dr. Justice Iheme, email@example.com -- came with the title of SUPPLY ORDER
and wanted me to provide him with a "catalogue of supplies" that I could arrange to send to him to sell for me in Ghana.
For an advanced commission fee, of course. A little different approach. End results the same ;-)
Now, I have a product list, of a sort: my totally made-up, completely unworkable product list from Bonco, UnInc, makers of things beyond merely ridiculous. But it was apparent that for Iheme's "needs", I would have to have more.
So I thunk up some, suitable for offering to Iheme, and 25 of his email scamming peers and colleagues. This is the rewritten email that went back under Iheme's name and email addy, to him and his colleagues:
DEAR SIR/MADAM/ANY VARIATIONS LEFT OUT,
I NEED SUPPLIES. ANY SUPPLIES. F***, I WOULD TAKE A SHIPMENT OF DEFECTIVE DILDOS, JUST TO RECEIVE SOMETHING. LIFE HERE IN GHANA SUCKS ANYTHING IMAGINABLE. IF YOU DON'T BELIEVE THAT, JUST ASK KWESI ASSOCIATE, AKA AAUSTAINO ON YAHOO CHAT...HE LOST HIS DORK HERE. AND THAT WAS A GOOD DAY FOR HIM.
THINGS WE NEED IN GHANA INCLUDE, BUT ARE NOT LIMITED TO: